Yesterday was fairly up and down. IOP was hard because we talked about relationships and interpersonal effectiveness, and I am learning that I am not necessarily a very interpersonally effective person…which I guess I already know since I am a classic avoider and isolator (sp?). I really just don’t like to be around people and [...]
Archive for April, 2008
Soothe Thyself
Posted in Daily, Family, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, music, PTSD, trauma on April 30, 2008 | 1 Comment »
See Reverse For Directions
Posted in Family, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, PTSD, trauma on April 29, 2008 | 4 Comments »
It’s been a few days since I’ve had a “real” post. Life has been pretty shitty since Saturday mid-morning, which is funny, because I was so sunny and hopeful in Human Again? which was written very early Saturday morning.
I did go and see my Grandma and go to the grocery store on Saturday morning, as I [...]
While the World Sleeps
Posted in Daily, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, depression, music, nightmares, PTSD, sleep, trauma on April 27, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’m practicing distraction techniques this morning, due to high levels of anxiety and intrusive thoughts. It would be nice to be snuggled in bed with my honey in AZ, but that is a couple of months away. For right now, I will have to settle for getting up at 4:00 a.m. and trying to stay [...]
Human Again?
Posted in Daily, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, legal drugs, music, nightmares, PTSD, sleep, trauma on April 26, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Two nights in a row now, I have slept almost seven hours (each night). Nightmares have been limited and I would like to point out that on both of these nights, I was not taking two of the sleeping meds (because my new Pdoc discontinued them) that Dr. Rx had me on. I think it [...]
Throwing Dried Beans at Anxiety
Posted in Daily, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, mindfulness, music, PTSD, trauma on April 25, 2008 | 1 Comment »
My day didn’t start off any worse than usual. Then I left home.
The first hour of group was intolerable (or untolerable, something like that). We did a mindfulness exercise where we were supposed to be mindful of some dried beans in a plastic cup. There were over ten people in group today, and it took [...]
Just the Facts, Ma’am
Posted in Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, Klonopin, legal drugs, music, nightmares, PTSD, trauma on April 24, 2008 | 4 Comments »
I started IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) yesterday. It was overwhelming, but I had a sense of satisfaction that I was doing something productive to help myself.
I was able to see a doctor, because someone had cancelled their appointment at 10:00 a.m. So much different than the programs at the agency where I work. The support [...]
You’re Still Here
Posted in Daily, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, depression, love, PTSD, trauma on April 23, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Post will be short today. Which may be okay, because I know I can get a bit long-winded at times.
I felt really bad yesterday evening. The only thing that made it better was talking to Malcom. Even when we’re not talking about anything important, and he is just telling me about something he saw on [...]
I’m Touched, Not Crazy
Posted in Daily, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, depression, distraction techniques, music, nightmares, PTSD, trauma on April 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I actually slept some last night. Granted, I woke up every few hours from a nightmare, but between those period, I actually slept. Miraculous. Let’s count it up…11:30 p.m. – 1:30 a.m. SLEEPING…3:30 a.m. – 5:30 a.m. SLEEPING…6:00 a.m. – 7:00 a.m. SLEEPING. Grand total is a whopping FIVE hours. I’ll take just about anything [...]
Elephant on My Chest
Posted in Daily, Family, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, music, nightmares, PTSD, trauma on April 21, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Same old crap, just like every other night. Sleeping briefly, only to wake up and live a nightmare. Instead of just getting up and drinking a glass of warm milk (eww DHut) and going back to bed, I give up and get up for the day. I just don’t feel like it is worth putting [...]
Sexy Fat Gets Real
Posted in Neuroticism, tagged nightmares, PTSD, trauma on April 21, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Last night’s sleep was horrible. Tossing and turning. Sweating and mumbling. Waking up in the middle of a nightmare, only to have it continue as I was awake. The beauty is that at some point today I finally reached that point of exhaustion where my brain just didn’t work anymore and managed to get in [...]
