So I was sitting in the back yard, real quiet-like, admiring my surroundings, practicing some mindfulness, loving that it’s green and my flowers are blooming and I have the most amazing dog and boyfriend and KA-BLAM. Cold liquid anxiety started spilling into my chest cavity, flowing up through my throat. I almost fracking choked on it, it [...]
Posts Tagged ‘nightmares’
The Thoughts That Weren’t Lost
Posted in Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, Bob Dylan, catastrophizing, conflict, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, distress tolerance, legal drugs, love, mixed episode, music, nightmares, PTSD, relationships, SAD, seasonal affective disorder, sleep, trauma on January 15, 2009 | 5 Comments »
I have a lot to say tonight. So much, that I know I will forget some of it, that I won’t get it down on paper and that thought will be lost until I think it again. All of these tiny thoughts, big thoughts left in the dark. Dead, really, until I can find them [...]
Brain Dump
Posted in Daily, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, building structure, catastrophizing, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, distraction techniques, distress tolerance, effectiveness, forgiveness, guilt, happiness, hope, independence, joy, love, mindfulness, music, nightmares, PTSD, radical acceptance, relationships, SAD, seasonal affective disorder, self-soothe, sleep, trauma, willfulness, willingness on December 28, 2008 | 2 Comments »
For the final 118 minutes of today, Saturday, the 27th of December, year of our Lord 2008, I am going to not care about what anyone thinks of me. I have spent far too much time today consumed by it. I am also not going to worry about that which I cannot change, which I [...]
Gotta Do What You’ve Gotta Do
Posted in Health, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, building structure, catastrophizing, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, distress tolerance, effectiveness, employment, happiness, hope, independence, joy, Klonopin, legal drugs, love, mindfulness, mixed episode, nightmares, organization, PTSD, radical acceptance, relationships, SAD, seasonal affective disorder, self-soothe, sleep, trauma, willfulness, willingness on December 27, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I’m barely able to keep my eyes open this morning, even though I was a good girl and went to bed at a decent time last night and got about 8 hours of sleep. I just have energy. I think it has a lot to do with the cyproheptadine I took last night. My old [...]
Working At Getting in a Rut
Posted in Daily, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, effectiveness, love, nightmares, PTSD, relationships, SAD, seasonal affective disorder, sleep, trauma on October 28, 2008 | 3 Comments »
A sound night’s sleep has eluded me for the past week. I’m not quite sure what to chalk it up to, but I think maybe I have been using my sun lamp too much. That, and I’ve started eating again, which is definitely making me feel different. Nauseous and disgusting, truth be told. I suppose that’s [...]
When the Sun Goes Down
Posted in Daily, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, distress tolerance, nightmares, PTSD, radical acceptance, trauma on July 7, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Sunday, July 6, 2008 PM
The days in the past week have gone by quickly. I have stayed busy most days. I need more.
I feel an intense urge to connect. Granted, I get that to a certain extent by spending time with my family and talking to various people on the phone. It is not enough. [...]
I See Gray
Posted in Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, employment, mindfulness, nightmares, PTSD, self-soothe, trauma on June 29, 2008 | 6 Comments »
Saturday, June 28, 2008 8:23 p.m.
My last post was Tuesday morning before IOP and I’ve given myself every excuse for not posting again here recently. I’m tired. I’m busy. I’ll post tomorrow. I think what it comes down to is that I have been avoiding blogging about graduating from IOP.
The actual “graduation” wasn’t bad. It [...]
HALT
Posted in Daily, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, DBT coaching call, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, mindfulness, nightmares, PTSD, radical acceptance, sleep, trauma on June 23, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Sunday, June 22, 2008 8:43 p.m.
This post may seem a bit stiff. I’m practicing opposite to emotion and blogging now even though I’d rather do it in the morning. I am trying (in vain, it seems) to get back into a routine and blogging daily is part of that. Part of the reason that it is [...]
Riding a Possessed Elevator
Posted in Daily, Family, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, DBT, depression, dialectical behavior therapy, nightmares, PTSD, sleep, trauma on May 6, 2008 | 3 Comments »
DISCLAIMER — this is a really an extremely long post…covers Friday to today. This is why I should try and post over the weekend instead of doing a marathon blog on Mondays.
I think my last post was on Saturday morning (or possibly Friday night, or maybe even Saturday night), but I am having a hard time [...]
While the World Sleeps
Posted in Daily, Neuroticism, tagged anxiety, Bipolar, depression, music, nightmares, PTSD, sleep, trauma on April 27, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’m practicing distraction techniques this morning, due to high levels of anxiety and intrusive thoughts. It would be nice to be snuggled in bed with my honey in AZ, but that is a couple of months away. For right now, I will have to settle for getting up at 4:00 a.m. and trying to stay [...]
