Yes, I do realize it’s Sunday; however, the events of Friday and Saturday were just so awesomely special that I feel the need to share. Beware…there may be TMI in this post.
Although I took enough pills to sedate perhaps a small elephant on Thursday night, I ended up with no sleep AGAIN. At this point, I was getting a little manic and a lot strung out. I called Dr. Rx again on Friday.
Me: It didn’t work. I still didn’t sleep. Any other ideas?
Dr. Rx: Remind me what you have available.
Me: Blah blah blah blah blah blah…
Dr. Rx: Hmmm. Well it sure seems like you should be sleeping with all of that.
Thanks for the insight, Dr. Rx. Just tell me what drugs I can take to put myself in a coma without making myself stop breathing in the middle of the night. Minus the sarcastic comment, I gratefully thanked the good doctor for her advice.
I met with my favorite client around the noon hour on Friday and then called our department secretary and told her I was taking my last hour off to go home and try to sleep. I left it to her to explain it to my boss, and she did because she’s awesome like that.
When I came home, I decided to take some pills with the hopes of getting in a nap before evening came. Dr. Rx told me that I could safely take one extra Geodon along with all of the other extra crap I was taking. In my mind I heard “Take all of the extra Geodon and Klonopin you want.” So, I popped 2mg of Klonopin and 160mg of Geodon. Sleep did not EFFING COME. So, I laid around for awhile and then did my evening routine (which is so ridiculous and consists of many multiple steps, so I’ll save that for a whole different post).
After I had talked to Malcom for the evening, I decided to load up on drugs again. Surely some more Klonopin and Geodon wouldn’t hurt me, right? So, I took 5mg of Klonopin and another 160mg of Geodon. I was SURE I would sleep. I went to bed around 9:00 and things were going well until I woke up at 9:30 CHOKING ON MY OWN VOMIT.
I haven’t made a huge mess vomiting since I was a kid, and this was certainly the first time that there was no Mom there to clean it up for me
I would like to interject a short thank-you list to those who have assisted me in times of need such as this: Thank you Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa for cleaning up after me all of those times. You should really receive an award. I would also like to thank Ab for notifying our sleeping parents to the fact that I was vomiting all over the hallway and the bathroom anytime I was ill. Finally, I would like to give a special thanks to Daddy Hut, who would just stand in the bedroom doorway in his underwear and swear, and sometimes scream”JUST THROW UP IN THE TOILET, DAMMIT!!!” when I was a kid. I tried my best this time Daddy Hut, and I know you’d be proud.
After cleaning up my mess and throwing all of my clothes, sheets, blankets, and a few towels into the basement to be washed, I passed out buck-naked on my couch wrapped in my only clean blanket.
The bonus of all of this? I finally slept…for 9 hours straight. I was so grateful that I’m not even concerned that I could have died in my sleep like some drunk aspirating his own vomit. Next time, I’ll be sure to listen a bit more closely to the nuances Dr. Rx sends my way, such as “Don’t take more than one extra Geodon….only 5mg of Klonopin in a day.”