I woke up this morning at 3:00 a.m. So much for medication. Since that’s not working, I’ve been using my “coping skills” and taking it easy. I’ve spent the last three hours listening to CD’s and playing fetch with my dog. Yes, I know…I live a life full of excitement, but my mental health depends on it.
Poor mental health = inability to function = getting fired = living with my dog in a refrigerator box under the bridge. You can see how I wouldn’t want that for myself.
I did manage to sleep a bit during the day today, which I was pretty excited about. The main reason I’m excited is because I’m starting to get really whacked out and feel pretty on edge. Also, my memory is starting to go and I find myself wandering aimlessly around my house. I did manage to clean like a madwoman today, which is really not all that unusual for me. I call it a “cleaning disorder” and Malcom says, “That’s just your OCD, baby.”
Kizzie has been adjusting to the erratic sleep patterns just fine. She naps with me when I nap, and she acts like a crazy idiot when I’m up acting, I’m sure, the same. My dog is so supportive.
I managed a visit with my Grandma today, which has become depressing as hell since she had to move into the nursing home part of her living center. I suggested she try therapy and perhaps a bump in her anti-depressant dose. She says, “Oh I’m fine. I don’t need that.” She then proceeds to act depressed and complain a lot and be ungrateful. I suppose some things never really change though…they just intensify with age.
My parents are working like mad for the upcoming lawn and garden show. I think they’ll have a kick-ass display if the work and stress doesn’t stroke them out before then. They’re really excited about it, too, which I haven’t seen in years, so I’m happy for them.
I’m hoping that I have therapy this coming weekend to deal with all of the sleep and resulting bullshit I’ve been experiencing. My therapist is beyond awesome and I’ve been with her off and on since I was sixteen. I’m trying to think of an appropriate blog name for her in order to protect her identity. I’m thinking “Goddess of Mindfulness”, which of course I would shorten to GOM. Its really an amazing thing to learn about…mindfulness, that is…it has helped me tremendously.
Malcom: “Are you watching the Super Bowl?”
Me: “What the hell do you think?
I apologize dearest Malcom. I feel somewhat
homicidal aggravated that the Super Bowl is going on while I feel miserable. I’m so annoying on little sleep. Reach across those three states and slap me…I know I might think about it if I were you. XOXO