Why I Won’t Quit My Job

I feel the need to share about an experience that is so far, the highlight of my day.  One of the tools we use at work is…let’s call it the RISF for Really Interesting Shit Finder.  Basically, it lets me know my client’s barriers and strengths to employment…and also about their multiple felony convictions for forgery, as well as documenting the last time they spend over $20 at the crack house.  I met with a fairly new client today who does not have these problems, but whose RISF was off the charts.

Me:  So, Lola (name changed for privacy), tell me a little bit about your educational background.

(This is a brief synopsis, not direct quote…some facts have been changed to protect Lola’s privacy, but you’ll get the general idea)

Lola: Well, I was a nurse’s assistant in the military.  I also am certified in engineering and robotics for the US government and that is why there are satellites over my house.  I buy antiques and stuffed animals from yard sales and we hook them up online and work on robotics there.  I’ve been educated in bookkeeping, business law, as a fighter pilot, working on nuclear testing, and I have two illegal certifications from California and Wisconsin.  Do you think the FBI will send my meds that were stolen directly to your office or will they send them to me?

 AWESOME.  She can also read (but not speak) five languages and can kill someone with her thumb. 

Clients like Lola are what keep me coming to work every morning.  That and the fact I’d have to live in a refrigerator box under the bridge and feed Kizzie dog food that contains horse meat.

3 thoughts on “Why I Won’t Quit My Job

  1. I have always wanted to kill someone with my thumb.

    Actually, rather, to put someone into a coma with a quick forefinger/thumb squeeze on the muscle lying across the shoulder (the Spock Move).

    Nice psydoname on the client. Love ya… Sleep well. XOXO


  2. Yes, of course I did. Sorry, a typo… meant to do a play on psuedonym with “psyconame” and got confused in the translation. Mea culpa, mea culpa… but not mea maxima culpa. 😀


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