Mea Culpas

Praise God (or whatever higher power you praise, or praise friggin’ chocolate for all I care)…I have achieved more than five hours of sleep for the last two nights.  Monday night I slept from 9:00p – 3:45a.  Not perfect, but better.  Last night, I fell asleep around 10:30p and woke up around 2:30a, but was able to snooze off and on in my recliner until around 5:00a.  Still not perfect, but MUCH better than the last 10 days. 

I would really like to give a big “THANK YOU BABY” to Malcom for putting up with my spaced-out, grouchy, disoriented self for the last 10 days.  He is very supportive and knows what I’m going through…he’s even worse about sleep than I am.  Thanks also go out to Momma V at work, who has been lighting candles and praying for me.  And I can’t forget Dr. Rx who has been very helpful with her insights into just how much medication I can take without making my liver bleed safely.  Also, thank you to everyone else who has been patient with me…I know I’ve been a real prize to deal with, especially the last few days.

Even though I’m kinda-sorta sleeping again, I’m not out of the woods yet.  Anyone who knows anything about bipolar disorder knows that sleep and staying in a routine is KEY and the lack of sleep has spun me into a raving psycho bit of a manic spell. 

I do have an appointment this a.m. with Dr. Rx (who thankfully agreed to meet with me at the last minute, probably because the Goddess of Mindfulness put the squeeze on her) and I am hoping that goes well, because I always leave there feeling like I want to punch someone in the face I’ve relived a traumatic event because she asks about my nightmares.  I suppose she needs to know these things in order to properly treat my problems, but is it really necessary?  Why can’t she call the Goddess of Mindfulness and ask her instead and then I only have to be honest once in a month’s time?

Because Kansas is so AWESOME, we went from 65 degree weather on Monday to mid-30’s yesterday, and overnight we received five inches of snow.  I can’t wait until I move to Arizona and call Kansas during the middle of the winter to brag about the weather, like Malcom does with me now. 

Kizzie will be pumped when she figures out there is a bunch of snow outside.  I’ll have to get some pictures of her playing in the snow on the site.  She really likes the smell of it, so she’ll come inside with her face entirely encased in snow.

Me:  Are you my snow doggie?

Kizz:  Arrrwrrrrowwwww.

So, she does speak…just not in a language anyone but myself or Malcom can understand. 

Kizzie would like to apologize for the negative Ron Paul remark she made yesterday, but Malcom has ingrained it in her that Ron Paul = psycho. 

I try not to get too involved or caught up in politics.  I have my beliefs, which are pretty liberal.  I get a pretty big thrill about putting a big HELL NO checkmark in the boxes of a certain judge and other right-wing nutjobs who run for office.  I wasn’t terribly worried about the primaries, because I’m either going to vote for McCain or Hilary and I’m pretty sure that one of them will win a nomination.

Another reason why I won’t quit my job:

Me:  So what’s the situation with Timothy (name has been changed to protect privacy)?

Terry:  Well, he wrote those emails to the courthouse (which, by the way, he sent from the library from his own email account and he also signed his name) about blowing it up and making some references to the OK City bombing.

Me:  So we should probably concentrate on companies that accept felons…and that doesn’t have explosives on hand…where he has no contact with anyone except his direct supervisor (I can get ANYONE a friggin job…just try me).

Terry:  Well, Homeland Security might come busting into your office if you can get an appointment set with him, so I’d say put him on hold for now.

AWESOME.  Never a dull moment.

P.S. I still have half of a jar of PB left…probably because I’m out of bread, bananas, bagels, or anything else I might want to eat it on.  Since it doesn’t contain sugar, it just isn’t as satisfying to eat by the spoonful.  But that’s a good thing, right?


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