Sexy Fat Girl Finally Naps

I had the best nap of my entire life today.  If you’ve read any of the other posts about my psychotic sleep schedule lately, you’ll know I’m operating on a sleep deficit (kind of like the Bush administration, except billions, maybe trillions, of dollars don’t hang in the balance). 

I came home from my attempt to go to my doctor’s appointment this morning, posted, took some drugs, and slept for three hours straight…no nightmares.  I felt (and still do feel) almost normal, which for me meant I needed to get to Walgreens to get my Seroquel PRN for sleep and pick up some stuff I can spread peanut butter on groceries. 

I’m really out of shape, because I’m medically termed “obese” (I must have body dysmorphic disorder because I think I look pretty sexy for a fat girl and I think I could get an “amen” from Malcom on that one), because I ate ice cream daily over-indulged in rich foods and didn’t watch what I ate for about six months. 

As I was saying, really out of shape, and my grand plans to shovel eight inches of snow (drifted in places to two feet) from my back yard sidewalk, my driveway, my two sidewalks, and my three porches was…well, let’s just say I must have been smoking crack overestimating my abilities.  

It took me 25 minutes to shovel off my back porch and the walk to my garage.  I then came inside and abused my inhaler caught my breath, figuring I could work on the rest of it later.  Let’s just say that I caught the forecast and it’s warming up tomorrow, so I feel justified in not shoveling everything else and seeing if it doesn’t just melt. 

I did notice, coming home from Walgreens and the grocery store, that this guy down the street who usually plows everyone’s driveway and blows off everyone’s walks who live on this block stopped at the house next to mine. 

I think perhaps I should have made him a pie or something to thank him and he’s irritated that I never did anything…OR it pissed him off that he would blow off the part of my sidewalk going up to my front door (which no one uses because the porch is caving in) and I wouldn’t shovel everything else. 


People who do good deeds don’t necessarily have to be rewarded.  Do it because you want to.  Even my EFFING DOG doesn’t expect a treat everytime she sits for me and I sure as hell don’t expect a thank you or a “jeez, you’re really great” everytime I do something nice for a client.  Usually, I’m just thankful they don’t swear at me or kick my car because then I would have to punch them in the face, which as we know would lead to:

getting fired = living in a refrigerator box with my dog under the bridge 


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