I must have been dead asleep last night, because Kizzie threw herself a little party and I didn’t know it until I woke up this morning and looked around:
1) There were two dead mice laid at my feet. I stepped on one of them, and let me tell you, that’s not a good way to wake up. I did praise her and give her a crunchy rawhide (which is her ultimate favorite), because, you know, that’s what dogs are supposed to do…KILL MICE.
2) A slew of clothes had been pulled from the laundry hamper and were strewn all over the house. Kizzie especially likes panties and bras and anything stretchy.
3) My comforter was missing quite a bit more stuffing. I have been through three comforters since I’ve owned this dog.
4) My lighter was in the middle of the floor, broken into a million pieces. She’s done this before and I’m not quite sure what the appeal is.
5) When she noticed that I woke up, she jumped onto me and immediately started licking my face. That was fine, until I realized that she’d been up all night killing mice, which I’m sure she killed in her famous shake-and-torture routine (she finds a mouse, shakes it, sets it on the floor, paws at it, shakes it again, paws at it…you get the picture…she does this until the mouse is dead).
This is evidence of why I can never have kids (other than the fact that I think kids are annoying and a pain in the ass)…you can ignore a dog and mope around all night, but I’m pretty sure you can’t just throw down some kibble for a kid and spend the evening sitting on the couch staring into space, feeling sorry for yourself.
The mania is pretty much gone, but why can’t you swing back to the middle? Seems pretty unfair.
If you feel the need to leave a comment saying “it could be worse” or “life is unfair,” you can go ahead and fuck off because those types of comments don’t help. Think about it…how would you feel if you had a chronic condition and someone told you “well, things could be worse.” Does that really lift your spirits? Didn’t think so.
Hmmm…moving on from feeling low to feeling hostile. Light a candle for my clients today.