Getting it Together…Maybe

Another night of little sleep.  I figured that when I took a nap at Mom’s before Ab came into town that it would mess up my schedule a bit, but that I had missed so much sleep already that I would be able to sleep at least 6 hours. 

 I ended up going to bed around 11:30.  The only bonus to that was that I was able to talk to Malcom for a few minutes when he got off work.  I then woke up around 3:00 and have been up ever since.

In a way, I consider the lack of sleep a blessing.  It keeps away the nightmares that plague me and allows me to be productive.  The downside, of course, is that I am exhausted all the time and end up playing catch-up in the middle of the day when I am supposed to be working.

I am going to once again attempt to work 8 full hours today and not take a nap.  It would be nice to get the sleep-issue at least somewhat on track…although that might take a small miracle, since sleeping has always been an issue for me.  Thank you very much, bipolar and PTSD.  You’re always there for me, you assholes.

I finally cleaned up my tags and categories clouds.  Hopefully this will make it easier for people to find the entries that they would like to read.  It only took about two hours of obsessing, but that’s what I do best.

Curly Snap and I are making a habit of chatting for about an hour after work.  We are already starting to kick butt and we make an awesome team.  It’s nice to have an ally at work again, and I am relieved that the Ice Queen Cheerleader is gone.  It’s probably good that she is gone, too.  Curly Snap inherited her clients and has told me all sorts of bizarre stories about the Cheerleader’s lack of personal boundaries. 

Unfortunately, a lot of people at the agency have poor boundaries…and those people have problems with those of us that do set clear and firm boundaries.  It’s called prevention from burnout and striving toward professionalism.  Oh yeah, and that small issue in the health field called ETHICS.  Funny how some forget all about that to meet their own needs at the expense of the client. 

In health news, I have finally dropped a few pounds.  I attribute that to being accountable to Malcom via email.  I can hardly wait until I get down there and he can force my sexy-fat butt to exercise.  Crack that whip, boy!

Ab gave a positive report about Grandma after she saw her yesterday.  Mom mentioned as well that Gma has been doing better.  I wonder why it is, then, that Gma always presents as depressed and non-functional to me.  Mom believes it is because I won’t visit and she is trying to guilt me into it. 

Grandma being manipulative?  NEVER!  LOL  At any rate, I will not be visiting, unless I can keep it to a 15 minute visit…I believe I have already explained that in my post “Dear Grandma.”  No sense going into all of that emotional wreckage again. 

Today should be an easy day at work.  We have chart review scheduled from 12-5 today, which means that I’m practically forced to work all day.  That may be a good thing.  It will at least keep me from coming home and napping over my lunch hour.

I’m expecting big changes in my mood, as the weather is warming up and the sun is coming out (even in Kansas, the sun does show it’s face from time to time during this period of the year).  Eventually, it will be time to move from the sunlamp to sitting in the sun on the porch (I have an awesome deck and porch, thanks to DH and Mom).  Can’t wait to sit out there in a t-shirt and my underwear.

Don’t tell the neighbors.  🙂

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