Life has been keeping me busy lately. Between work, dating, friends, and household responsibilities, I have been running around like crazy. Like I mentioned in my last post, I took time for myself this weekend and was able to do a great deal of thinking. And also a great deal of not thinking, and just relaxing. I have had time to reflect, and have come to the following conclusions:
1) Great people come into your life when you least expect it. When you have given up hope that there is that special someone out there for you, that matches you, that fits. I have found that and I am going to hang onto it. Whatever it takes. Kismet.
2) Eventually good things will come to those who wait, who are patient, who do what is right by others. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, supposedly. But when you actually follow through on those good intentions, do what is right, what your heart tells you do…good things happen. And a lot of good things have happened to me in the past few months, or perhaps more accurately, I have adjusted my life so that I am able to see, accept, and go after those good things.
3) Doing what makes you happy is not overrated, not a cliche. It is the path to a life, a life worth living. I know what makes me happy now, and am following it. Seeking it out. Enjoying every moment.
4) When you do all that you can to make yourself happier, healthier, do “all the things you are supposed to,” things fall into place. They just do and they just are. All you can do is be thankful, and I am very thankful.
I needed this weekend to reflect, to truly appreciate where my life has been, what it is now, the vast difference in my level of happiness, peace, and contentment. I think for a bit I had been taking it for granted, feeling as if I had merely been “lucky” or whatnot. After thinking about it and reflecting, I realize that all of these good things are happening because I have worked hard for them.
Therapy, IOP, meds, seeking out others…all of those times when I have wanted to quit but didn’t. All of that pushing through the bullshit, letting go of the bullshit, learning how to float. These good things are of my own doing and I am embracing that fact. They did not come randomly, but with hard work. I deserve every bit of happiness that has come my way. Because I worked (and am still working) my ass off every day for it.
Of course I live with that fear that I will slip and fall. And of course I will. But I know that I will be ready to pick myself back up, that the fall will not be so far, so pronounced. And even if it is, I can handle it. The winter is always difficult for me, but I think that if I keep doing what I am doing, this might be the best winter yet.
Here’s to living a life worth living, to working hard and playing hard, to inner peace, contentment, and joy.
Coldplay, The Hardest Part