I am allowed to wake Matt up in 32 minutes. He refused to get up with me at 3:00 a.m. and told me I am not normal. That’s what happens when I go to bed early! At least Mom had the “self-preservation” talk with him, in regard to sleep. Basically, the women in our family need little sleep, and the men in our lives just have to go to bed without us when they’re tired. Or they die. Proven fact!
Today is Matt’s birthday and I plan on showing him just how great he is. I’m broke, so I have no really fun present…except me and my sparkling personality!!! I’m also going to make him breakfast and bake him a lemon cake with vanilla frosting here later in the day. Hopefully I don’t screw it up!!
So, yes, Matt is great. He gave me roses last night. Out of nowhere. For no reason at all. No one has ever done that before and it was such a good feeling to know that he was thinking of me and wanted to do something nice for me. I could get used to that! I’m feeling very lucky to have him and just hope that I don’t do anything to screw it up. I’m doing my best!
I have been up since 3:00 a.m., as previously mentioned. I went to bed last night around 10:00 p.m. and slept like a brick. Plus I had a nap yesterday. That’s really all I need is a good solid 5 hours, sometimes more. I may take a nap after I get off work and I may not. Just depends on how difficult life is at the home improvement store today.
I was having a little crisis of faith in myself yesterday and called Mom for a pep talk. I’m worried about being at the home improvement store forever, worried that I won’t get the phlebotomist job (because I really want it!!!), worried that I am just wasting my life. I snapped out of it pretty quickly. Sometimes I just need someone to bitchslap me inject a little reality into my life. Funny how off-track I can get sometimes.
I was totally exhausted last night and realized that the time between dusk and about midnight really bothers me. But only if I am alone. Once I got to Matt’s, I was fine. I think it has to do with too much time to think, to obsess, to ruminate. I need to be working harder on my distract and self-soothe skills.
I’ve been looking at my diary card and am using the same self-soothe and distract skills over and over. Part of me wonders if I should try something new, or if I am using the same ones over and over because that’s what works. I namely use music and reading. It seems to work pretty well for the most part, but I’d really like to incorporate more exercise and something more active to get my mind off things. I can only clean so much!
As I said yesterday, I am missing DBT again this week. ARGHHHH. I could really use a fix. At least I am doing my diary card though. I also got next week figured out, because I was scheduled to work 9-6 and that would have made me miss it again. I basically told our head cashier that it wasn’t possible for me to do that, so I am getting off at 2:30 and will have just enough time to make it. I’m really excited to start with my new group!! Hallelujah, the ex-roommate will not be in it. That’s one of the main reasons that I changed. Or maybe is THE main reason. She really pisses me off and annoys me.
I was having a somewhat grumpy day yesterday. When I got into work, I was informed that our metrics had come in and that I was using the quantity key at a rate of 18-21%. Apparently this is bad, and the store average is 5%, while the “ideal” is 4%. I’ve been told to stop using the quantity key completely until further notice. This means that when someone shows up with any number of duplicate items, from 2-25, I have to scan each one. It’s a serious pain in the butt, but I haven’t even worked the pro register yet. Should be interesting. “Excuse me, sir. I need to scan each of those 50 bags of QuikCrete. Should only take an extra five minutes.” Yay. Can hardly wait.
I was also grumpy because I didn’t get the time off for Ab’s party that I had requested. I found out later that I didn’t request it off early enough, that it has to be requested not two weeks before the date you want off, but two weeks before the schedule comes out. So, you basically have to request off almost a month ahead of time. As Mom said, I’m still not used to having someone tell me when to show up to work and for them to really expect me to be there. Retail shift work sucks!!
I finally snapped out of the grumpiness, with the aid of some food. I’m not great about eating consistently and sometimes I think my blood sugar just dips too low. I solved that with a Snickers bar. 🙂 Almost anything can be salvaged, with a Snickers bar in hand, dontcha know?
Matchbox 20, Mad Season