Honest Scrap

blog_awardA blog award has been bestowed upon me by a high-school girlfriend that I truly admire.  Adriana has become a wife, a mom, and a much younger, hipper Martha Stewart-ish icon in the blogging community.  And, just like she always has, she tells it like it is, which is likely why she gave me the “Honest Scrap” award and likely while we initially avoided each other and then finally came together toward our senior year.  I miss you girl!

So the rules are that you tell 10 very honest, incredibly interesting things about yourself and then tag other bloggers.  Adriana has already tagged a couple of mine, so I have fewer than seven. 

1)  I do not like to wash my hands.  My skin is very dry and itchy and the thought of hot water and soap makes me cringe.  I wash when I absolutely have to, when Matt tells me I have to, and pre-cooking/serving.  I figure this will change when I have children and become a little more obsessed with germs.  And yes, I do realize this is gross.

2)  For about a year in college and a year afterward, I had what you could consider a drinking problem.  I got drunk more nights than not.  I had a credit card that I used solely for drinking and never paid anything but the minimum until I maxed it out.   After my parents moved me back home, I quit drinking and joined AA.  I never felt like I fit in.  I have been drunk maybe twice in the last five years, and enjoy an occasional drink at home or at my Mom’s.  I never have more than a couple and am often pouring half to three-fourths of a glass or beer bottle out.  I just don’t have that need to self-medicate with alcohol anymore. 

3)  I have lived with an eating disorder since age 16.  I grew up being overweight and discovered bulimia when I was in high school.  I still battle it from time and time and I would call my relationship with food anything but normal.  More like I’m always striving for it to be a little more normal.

4)  In a related note, I worked as a mental health technician on an inpatient eating disorders unit during a time when my mental health was very poor.  Those were not good times.

5)  I am on Facebook but rarely write on anyone’s wall.  I’m never really sure what to say, and, to be honest, a lot of my high school memories are so blurred I don’t remember details.  I attribute this to meds and too much pot and alcohol in college.  I do find it interesting to see what people are up to.  I just know that I’m very different yet very similar to the person I was in high school and I’m not quite sure what people expect, and I guess I’m just self-conscious about looking stupid.

6)  I am strongly pro-choice, although I think the system is broken.  The closer I get to an age where I want children, however, the more unsure I am.

7)  I told everyone I did, but I did not go to the polls and vote for President.  It was something I was conflicted about and now I sound like an asshole. 

8)  I tell everyone I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, because I think I’m supposed to have some grand answer.  The truth is that I have little to no career ambition.  I want to have a job that I like and that pays decent money.  Other than that, I want to be a good wife and mother.  It sounds very 1950’s on paper, but it doesn’t in my heart.

9)  I have no regrets about anything I have done or said in my life.  Everything before me has brought me to where I am today and there is no where else I would rather be.  I am grateful for my struggles, just as I am grateful for my triumphs.

10)  This list has been very therapeutic for me.  Thank you, Adriana.

I award the Honest Scrap Blog to:

mysteryo’riley — I’m not sure there’s anyone more deserving of this word than you, Linda.  You amaze me, every word. 

~ bipolarlife  — A lot of times I read and think, “I wish I had the balls to say that.”

~ poetreearborist — I read it obsessively and do not comment because I am just in awe.


6 thoughts on “Honest Scrap

  1. OK, yuck on the hand washing thing. I carry antibacterial stuff with me ALWAYS. I will remember this when we get together sometime. (Beware) There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a good mother and wife. Trust me it takes a lot more work, self sacrafice, tears, stress, and time than any other job you can find…but more rewarding than anything you could possibly imagine. I miss you too!


  2. Hey, thanks for the mention. I haven’t won an award for my blog before!

    As for the hand washing, I’ve heard that the majority of the bacteria is killed by rubbing your hands together more than the soap. So you may want to try using less soap and rubbing more? I believe that there is also a soap that you can buy that is meant for dry hands. Possibly hemp soap. Good luck!


  3. Well now… I read this meme stuff and honest-scrap stuff, awaiting an epiphany or at the least find out something I don’t already know. {{{sigh}}} Okay, no whining… that’s why I’m the QofB… all-knowing, and sometimes even the man behind the curtain. 😀

    Funny to read the hand-washing part… would it be interesting for your readers to know you went thru’ a period of time where you would not use a public restroom because of all the germs? LOL …okay, I’ll stop.

    Hmmmm. hemp soap. Can we smoke that? OK, stop yelling at me, I’ll quit… for now.

    ….XOXO PS tick-tock tick-tock


  4. PS bipolarlife… if smartiepants is impressed by you enough that it shuts her up, I must go read it. 🙂 She says absolutely NOTHING lightly.

    And Adriana… amen on the mom stuff. Nice to be seein’ ya all grown up. 😀


  5. And I must say this. Just because I am one of those strange individuals, who feels compelled to say what “is” in their thoughts…even if not a popular or PC thought.

    I’ve been reading Dooce since you told me about her blog. When I started it, it seemed very interesting. Since then, I have read enough that she’s become tiresome. Plebian. Might I even say commercial. {{gasp}} There is just a lack of “heart” …it seems to come missing more and more often.

    Okay, I just had to get that one off my chest. Whew!! I feel better already.


  6. I totally agree QoB. Everything seems forced now. And commercialized. I keep watching because it’s kind of like a car wreck. Or a bad book you can’t put down because you want to see how it ends.


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