After three straight days of minimal sleep, I passed out on the couch last night, watching Medium, that we had DVR’d from earlier in the evening. DVR is a beautiful thing. I’m still not used to having a fancy TV or cable, and when I found out that we could set it to automatically record my favorite shows in case I missed them, I went a little wild.
I am watching the shop today so that the Big Dog can go get a cavity filled. So far, nothing exciting, but then again, the wind chill outside is -5 degrees. Why don’t people want to go do outdoor activities in that kind of weather…hrrmmmm. Somehow the Big Dog manages to stay busy most of the day, though, doing inventory and calling people and making lists and God knows what else. I know that the big garden and outdoor show is coming up soon, so likely a lot of preparations for that.
In related news, the boat show is this weekend. I am really REALLY dying to go, so I need to mention that to QoB and the Big Dog to see if they’re wanting to go. None of us would be buying a boat (because QoB and the Big Dog already have one), but it’s a fun activity on a cold day. Plus, there’s popcorn and diet soda. What more can you really ask for?
I have kept up on my walking. I’ve walked every day since last Friday and plan to walk again today. It’s really energizing; especially when Wizzah and I went at 6:00 a.m. yesterday morning and it was chilly and windy and dark. She was very protective and hyper-vigilant, and when we got home, she immediately started running around the house, barking like crazy, just because all the cold and the wind makes her high, I think.
I had an appointment with my pdoc yesterday. It did not go as great as I had planned. I went in and told him that I am having a hard time sleeping and that I eventually want to taper off Klonopin, but not right at this moment because I am getting ready to start a new job and I don’t want to go off the deep end in the thick of that.
He stated that my sleep and revved-uppedness in the evenings are related to physical problems and he wants me to go do a sleep study. He also ordered me to start tapering Klonopin effective that day at a rate much more rapid than I have seen recommended on the Internet. Because this was not what I wanted to hear, I got pissed. And stayed pissed pretty much throughout the day.
Of course, I took it out on Dr. Love, who was also having a crappy day. We argued a little and then I went to QoB and the Big Dog’s house to vent. Let’s just say that they threw a little reality back in my face and told me why the doctor was saying it was a physical problem:
1) I have taken up to three sleeping pills at a time, with no effect on my sleep patterns.
2) I am overweight and possibly have sleep apnea. The Big Dog has said that he has seen me sleep, and that it’s not a pretty sight. Dr. Love pretty much concurs with that.
3) I have a lot of the warning signs, plus the genetic predisposition for diabetes, which might explain why I wake up on the hour every hour and have to pee.
4) Related to #4, sometimes I am so fast asleep and need to pee so badly that I wet the bed a little bit before I can wake up and make it to the bathroom.
So, yes, I suppose it is possible that my problems with sleeping are physical. Highly probable even. I am going to call the local hospital today and see if they do sleep studies so the pdoc can make a referral, but need to check first to see if my insurance will pay for such a thing.
Also, it is becoming increasingly apparent that I need a primary care physician. It isn’t for lack of trying that I don’t have one. I am on state-sponsored insurance and there are no doctors in town that are accepting new patients with my type of insurance. I did have a great PCP and she left for private practice quite some time ago. Let’s just say that I am well-known at the walk-in clinics.
Thankfully, I have a gynecologist that will take care of my birth control and antibiotics for acne. Between him and my pdoc, I am covered as far as the absolutely necessary stuff, but it would probably be good to know if my thyroid is out of whack or if I have developed diabetes.
In somewhat related news, Dr. Love has agreed to start counseling for depression related to losing his job. He is somewhat skeptical, but I think it will really help him to figure some things out and to learn some coping skills to help himself feel better. I do my best to keep him active and give suggestions as to things he could do to make himself feel better and I listen when he talks, but that’s about all I can do.
I really think he can find himself again if he practices willingness in therapy, which I have been trying to explain to him. It’s all about willingness. And I’ll mention for the millionth time that the book Will and Sprit by Gerald May is totally worth reading. That book saved my life, along with many other things.
I will have to come back and add a video later, as I am at the shop and there are no speakers around to make sure it will come through. However, I can tell you that the song that is stuck in my head right now is…
“99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall.”
And for some reason, it’s stuck on skip, the number of bottles of beer never goes down…just 99, 99, 99. I think it is an obsessive tic that I’m not able to shed right at the moment. Whatever helps you cope, though, right? 🙂
Okay, home from the shop. Here ’tis…
Sean Kingston, Beautiful Girls — this is not the original video and only does about 1:30 of the song, but it totally cracks me up. If you want to hear the full song and see the real video, you can do so here.
P.S. Big Dog just called. Dr. Love and I now have VIP passes to the boat show…talk about having a great hook-up guy!