When I started this blog, I was looking for a fresh start. Something to really get me into blogging again, that could be positive. In RosieSmrtiePants, it seemed like all I had been doing lately was complaining, moaning, wallowing. Oh, and not blogging. I mean, A LOT of not blogging. I couldn’t stand to face that blog most days, unless I felt really bad.
Queen of Biscuits asked me tonight if I was going to “abandon” my old blog. GASP! Abandon? I guess I hadn’t looked at it that way before. To me, I had grown out of the old blog and am starting something new. I honestly believe I can bring that creative spirit back to me without having it revolve around every single negative thought in my head. A blog with much less wallowing. Lord, how I hate wallowing in my own misery…having done so much of it, very well documented actually, in my previous blog.
Could I have done all of this on the same blog? Perhaps. That wasn’t the path I chose to take, and really, would choose again in a heartbeat. I don’t like the term “abandonment” or the thought that I am “abandoning” anything. I’m sure that’s not where QoB’s head was at, but it really sparked some angst. What if this new blog is just some manic attempt at “normalcy” or a misled yearning for something different that I can’t have, that I don’t deserve, even?
But here’s the thing. It’s not any of that. It’s me, same old RosieSmrtie, writing a new chapter, searching for my creativity again, for my outlet. And the only person who really needs to take that to heart, is me.
This is Your Life, Switchfoot