To Heck and Back

Monday was pretty stressful.  Between my sleep study orientation in the morning to major drama with my car to deep concerns about money, given the upcoming cost of sleep studies, CPAP equipment, and now a car that needs fixing, I was ready to pull my hair out by the end of the day.

Let’s not mention that I was only able to clock in 7.5 hours yesterday due to car issues and sleep study orientation.  Seems like I didn’t get jack done during those hours, either, because I was too busy worrying.about.money.

I ended up leaving work early.  Just couldn’t take another minute of it, really.  And really, I think it was a wise mind decision.  My rational mind told me I had to stay until at least 6:00 p.m., no matter what, but my emotional mind was telling me that I was on the verge of a breakdown.  My wise mind found that middle ground, realizing there was no way I was getting anything else done and that I really needed a break.  Yay for wise mind!

After dropping the car off at the shop (in a scary neighborhood, nonetheless) and getting home, I immediately started working on self-soothe skills because I was pretty wired up.  Poor Dr. Love got a good taste of that, let’s say, and decided to leave me be for awhile.  I cooked dinner (marinated pork chops, mexican rice QoB style, and green beans) and started to feel better almost immediately.  It’s amazing how much cooking has become a self-soothe for me.  Really, it fits under a broad variety of the categories — self-soothe, distract, building mastery, and so on.  It just feels good and I think that’s amazing because there were days when even looking at a recipe was enough to bring me to ground zero because cooking was just.that.stressful.

To calm myself down even further, I talked to QoB on the phone while laying on the couch.  There is something about laying on that couch that is magical.  Just a feeling of “ahhhhh, relaxation…mellow, dude.”  Now I know why Dr. Love spends so much time lying there.  🙂

So I will be without a car for at least today, maybe tomorrow as well.  My mechanic didn’t know if he would be able to fit it in today but I will keep my fingers crossed.  It will be hard to be without a car because I won’t be able to get off grounds to smoke or talk on the phone or get away from the stress.  My plan is to take breaks by going outside and walking around the track and to chew gum when I’m dying for nicotine.  Should be a good experiment, if nothing else.

The beauty of not having a car is that Dr. Love has to get up and take me to work, which motivates him to stay up and get a lot of things done.  He has been amazing around the house lately, cleaning like a mad man, organizing, working on little projects.  I have not seen him in this good of spirits in a long time and I think we can attribute that to the entry-level-IT jobs popping up everywhere that he is applying to like mad and the Celexa that I kind of forced him to try again.  Whatever it is, he’s in a good place and that makes me happy.  Doesn’t hurt that it means my kitchen was thoroughly cleaned and the bathroom scrubbed, as well as all the laundry being done and the floors vacuumed.  He was even complaining about running out of things to do, so he went and bought all of the necessary stuff to change the oil and filters in both of our cars.  He finished his but, will have to wait on mine until it is out of the shop, obviously.

Dr. Love turned me onto this video.  Totally cool!

OK Go, This Too Shall Pass — Rube Goldberg Machine version

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