Brain in Absentia

The week didn’t get any better after Monday.  I woke up on Tuesday morning, hugged Dr. Love awake and said, “It can only get better from here.”  I was feeling good, using my skills, and had gone through my morning routine without a hitch.  I love mornings like that, where everything is ok, everything is just.so.  Let’s just say that nothing has been just.so since.

Like I said, Tuesday started out fine.  I was having a really productive day at work, as well, getting a lot of paperwork sent out, phone calls made, administrative stuff.  Around 2:00 p.m., my direct supervisor from the contract company I work for called and told me that our HSA (health site administrator) wanted to see me up in the clinic.  I didn’t really think much of it, as my one year had just passed and I figured it was some sort of review where she would point out that my work was great but my attendance left something to be desired.

When I came up to the clinic, our HSA sat myself and a CMA from the clinic in one of the clinic rooms with the intention of having us watch a short video.  I thought this was odd, but the computer system was down so we didn’t get to watch it.  Our HSA finally gave up on the IT guys and just called me into the cramped little mental health office in the clinic.  She was there with a woman that I had never met before, who turned out to be the Regional VP.  I thought I was in trouble for sure, getting ready to get written up severely for my missed punches and an extended lunch break here and there.

I was wrong.

To make a long story short, they told me that due to budget cuts, my position was being eliminated.  I could hardly believe it, and it still hasn’t really  sunk in.  My last day is the 31st.  I am very sad, but I know my employer did everything they could to keep it from happening.  I am hoping something will come through but I really don’t know what will happen.

The first couple of days after finding out were super-rough and I feel like I sleepwalked through most of the week.  I don’t think it has fully hit me yet, but I do have these moments of panic when I realize that I will be job-less after a couple of weeks.  Making my grocery list for the week was really difficult, as I tried to cut any excess or see where I could cut corners.

Deep down I know that something will work out, that these things sometimes happen for a good reason.  The best I can do is finish out my employment with a smile on my face, working my hardest until the end, and that’s what I’ve been doing and will continue to do until it is over.

I forgot to mention that I got my car back, $567 later, with another $815 in repairs that still have to be completed.  Timing is everything isn’t it?  At least I have it back and it’s running.  The rest of the repairs can wait to a certain extent, will have to wait until I have more money.

For the most part I am amazingly calm with all of this, but inside I am freaking out.  I am doing my very best to keep a smile on my face and hope in my heart.  Any warm fuzzies you can send my way are appreciated.

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan, ending credits score, by Bear McCreary

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