It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day drama of life. I find myself thinking of a day as a “bad day” if the littlest thing goes wrong. Sometimes I can’t see the forest for the trees, if you will, and miss out on all of the great things that are happening.
Dr. Love and I, my dearest family, my loved ones…we all have our health. We’re not dying, starving, dealing with a horrible disease like cancer or a stroke. Of all of us, Gavin is in the worst shape, and his health is really turning with the tide as he is able to get on a pain regimine and do physical therapy. We are blessed with our health. Makes all the difference in the world.
Both Dr. Love and I love our jobs. We have great supervisors, we help people, and we feel good about it. I was very fortunate to have a job crisis (when my employer cut my position) that worked out to my advantage. I was able to stay on at my job in a slightly different position with a better employer. I like my job even more than before, mostly due to some major changes in the population I serve and the addition of other programs I am able to be involved in. I could not ask for anything more out of my job. In a time when so many people are unemployed, under-employed, or hate their jobs, we are very fortunate.
I have reached a point in life where age has become my friend and my mental health is now more stable than it has ever been. It has allowed me to be less selfish with my time and love, be more supportive to those I most care about, and generally be a happier person. So many years spent in misery, and now any misery is short-lived. I can honestly say I am at the best place in my life that I have been in some time, maybe ever. So many things have fallen into place. Kismet, karma, kismet, karma.
I am very fortunate to have the best support system one could dream of. I have my love, Dr. Love, my parents are always there for me, and I have a real relationship with my dad again. Add to that my step-sister moving closer and the ability to spend time with her, her husband, and their children. I feel very lucky to have all of this love around me. So many people just don’t have this, and I absolutely treasure my parents and Dr. Love. They are there for me, no matter what, and that’s a great feeling.
These moments of clarity and deep insights are beautiful and amazing. I can say that Goddess of Mindfulness has played a big role in this. She has been there since the beginning, and I am so happy I was able to return to her wisdom and kindness five years ago. It is a joy to see her and talk about my life, work through things, big and small. Not everyone is able to have a treatment team like I do, the opportunities for growth that I have had, the ability to be myself and grow through the care of the best clinicians I have ever known.
For the most part, I have been able to come to peace, to rest, to have a firmer definition of who I really am. I accept myself, sometimes grudgingly, but it is a process and I am getting there. I know a peace now that I have never felt before and I really think it is because I am finally growing up. At age 29, I know, but 29 is so much better than 25, 21, 18, 15, 12. Best I have ever been.
And I couldn’t have done it without you…and you…and you…and you. I love you. You know who you are.
Whitney Houston, I Believe in You and Me