I know I am supposed to take baby steps. I advocate taking baby steps to other people for crying out loud. Why is it that I am unable to take my own advice? I don’t really care to examine that right now. What I do what to examine is what I have pinpointed to be key “baby steps” to work on. Of course I want to lose all of this weight and quit smoking and exercise every day. Of course I do. All I do by trying that though is set myself up for failure.
I have had a hard time getting up in the morning over the last two weeks and have even been late a few days. My sleep has been total crap and I am having nightmares. Really bad ones.
My morning routine is all out of whack because I have been depriving myself of coffee. I was trying to be healthy and drink it without my no-fat, non-sugar creamer that I always use. I was being a total control freak about it. So I stopped drinking coffee because I don’t enjoy it without the creamer.
Drinking coffee and slowly waking up in front of my sunlamp is something that makes me happy. I derive great pleasure out of it and it brings me peace. I have been doing it for a long time, and not doing it has really broken me out of my good routines and thrown me into a bad one.
I decided today that I am going to start drinking my coffee with creamer again in the mornings. That was not a necessary or smart thing to try and change.
Drinking my coffee and enjoying my morning “me” time will bring me back around to doing the things that get me to work on time and preserve my mental health. Like sitting in front of my sunlamp every morning and taking my Cymbalta. I can get off course with that in a hurry.
Now, when I can get my good “me” time in, with my coffee and creamer, Cymbalta and sunlamp, I am more likely to pack my lunch. Don’t ask why, but it’s true. If I pack a lunch, then I don’t eat crap. Eating crap makes me feel fat and guilty and I don’t like it. I am SO over it.
Obviously, my morning can affect my whole day. Not doing my morning routine throws off all kinds of things, and even makes me stay up later. When I am in my routine, I email, blog, and work on my SparkPage in the morning. When I am off, I stare into space and try to convince myself to find enough heart to go to work. If I don’t get my Internet taking care of in the morning, I tend to obsess over it at night. And end up not getting dinner together at a decent hour, because I’m sitting over my laptop, blogging and working on my SparkPage. Things I didn’t get to do this morning.
So, I stay up until 10:00 or 11:00 on the computer, and then it is hard to complete my evening routine. You know, the one where I eat, shower, watch a little TV, and read a little bit while I am in bed.
As you can see (and as I so CLEARLY see now), getting off my routine just a little bit can screw up my whole day.
My baby step:
1) Drink coffee in the morning
This will naturally lead to having my me time, thereby giving me time for my sunlamp and the sunlamp reminds me to take Cymbalta. While I’m up, it will be natural to pack my lunch. Then at the end of the day, I won’t feel like crap from eating crap, and I might even start doing something like showering daily and going to bed at a decent time.
Breakthroughs are priceless.
Jewel has routines, too. Her song about them made her famous!!
Jewel, You Were Meant for Me