That’s Pretty Much What I Thought

I am ready to move.  So ready, that it is almost an itchy feeling.  An itchy feeling that’s been scratched raw.  I just cannot wait.  I cannot wait to get out of this house, to get my fresh start, to have something that is MINE.  And it is beautiful.  I have wonderful family and friends that have spent hour upon hour upon hour doing everything they can to get the house spruced up.  I went over this morning by myself and just walked around, marveling at how delicious it will be to live in this house.  It cannot come soon enough.

Seems like July has been unbearably long.  We’re having record heats, and 8+ days of 100+ degree weather.  No rain.  Everything is drying up and dying.  I went through over half of July with no AC in my car.  It’s fixed now, almost $700 later.  Seems like money is just flowing out like crazy.  And it is.

Complete 180 here, but I have about had it with some of the people in my life.  Selfish, petty, bullshit people.  I don’t know why I try so hard, sometimes.  I don’t know why I give up, to give in moments later.  I don’t know why I am even giving this a moment’s thought when I should really be throwing back some meds and going to bed.  There’s this big feeling of stress right now.  Anxiety.  Tension.  Anger.

I am fucking pissed off, the more I think about it.  How dare these people treat me this way, and I let them get away with it?  Fuck them.  That’s how it’s gonna be now, because I have had enough.

There are few people you can truly count on in your life, and I’ve got mine.  I don’t need any bullshit standing between me and happiness, I get in my own way enough.

DMX, We Right Here


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