Post-Valentine’s Clarity

Valentine’s Day has always meant something to me.  Usually what is has meant to me is: “Damn, single again.  Let’s hit the half-price chocolate!”  This year, I have my DSB, and there was a little more of a positive meaning behind it.  It wasn’t a super-romantic day for us, but it was a very “us” kind of day.  Kinda.

The big garden show is this weekend, so I have been filling in as Head Bait Bitch/Cricket Wrangler down at my parents’ business since Wednesday.  I didn’t see DSB most of yesterday, but when I did see him, we had good QT, “us” style.

DSB gave me my Valentine’s present much earlier this week.  It came gift-wrapped from Amazon, and he set it on the table between us, saying, “You can open this whenever you want.  It’s ok with me,” really taunting me with it almost.  He knows I can get squirrely around gift-giving times and like to stay with tradition.  I resisted for almost ten minutes, and then ripped open the package, revealing very pretty silver heart earrings with purple and white stones.  Very “me.”  Another moment, of which I have many, where it sets in: “This guy really GETS me!”

When I came home yesterday from the bait shop, I gave Sam his present…a utility pocket-knife that he had really been wanting, along with a 20-pack of super-special, highly Amazon-recommended blades.  He seemed to love it and I think he had that, “she really gets me!” moment as well.  Sometimes it’s the simple things.

For dinner, I whipped up mac and cheese, fishsticks (for me), and hot dogs (for DSB).  This might seem like a strange, not-so-special meal, but it’s very “us.”  It is also very easy, necessary because of my broken foot, and cheap, necessary because we are poor poor poor.

I haven’t felt a lot of negative emotion lately, but there were a few times last night when I almost went down a very negative path of thinking.  About DSB’s truck and getting it fixed.  About the lack of romance, as I watched DSB obsessively search the Internet for all things go-kart related.  About trying to figure out how I can make my therapy appointment and a visit with my sister fall on the same day in an effort to conserve gas.  

And then I got up, took a shower, did some sacred self, self-soothe, and returned to reality, feeling much better, more clear-headed, and ready to look at those aforementioned situations with more openness and understanding.  DBT truly works wonders, used in every day life, applied to all situations.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

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