Snow Chains Optional

Day two of being snowed in.  I’m kinda liking it.  Didn’t do a single productive thing yesterday, other than make dinner.  I watched movies, got caught up on a few TV shows, blogged (duh), and read on the ol’ Kindle, all the while spending QT with DSB.

Today has been a little different.  No, I didn’t get dressed or take a shower, but I did watch two back-episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and the final Twilight movie.  I had to  take advantage of DSB  being out of the house, you see.  No Grey’s or Twilight when he is around, and here lately he hasn’t been out of the house much.

The recent snowfall has apparently created an itch within DSB to get out there and do something manly.  His huge truck is currently parked cross-wise on the driveway we share with he neighbors.  He made snow chains and a plow for the lawnmower this morning, but then the lawnmower became stuck mid-way up the drive.  The answer?  Big honkin’ Chevy truck to the rescue!  And then, that big honkin’ Chevy got stuck,. so he’s out there shoveling around it.  Wow.  

Since DSB is struggling so  much to be productive, I thought I’d get off my recliner and do some dishes, clean the kitchen, maybe even do a little laundry.  I am struggling some with feeling lazy, but am hoping that I can motivate myself to do a little bit.

I read a post (can’t remember where, or I would reference it) that asks if bipolar people should have goals.  I have mixed feelings on the topic.  For me, I have to get very reality-based with my goals, in that it must be actually possible for me to accomplish said goal.

That sounds simple, really it does, but it is a work in progress for me.  For years (and occasionally still), I will write a “to-do” list that ends up being pages long and is in no way realistic as to what I can accomplish in a short period of time.  I try not to do that anymore, because at end of day, I would end up extremely upset that I only crossed a few items off my list.

Now, I try and wake up in the morning and choose two things I am going to accomplish that day.  I also pick a “bonus” task that I might just get accomplished.  So many small things are still very difficult for me, so it is often like this:

1) Take a shower and put on clean clothes

2) Clean kitchen and cook dinner

Bonus — water plants

This might not seem like much, but it builds structure for me and helps me get the little things in life done.  I’ve tried to stop criticizing myself for having such a hard time with the little things, but most days it is the little things that get done and the major things that require some support from QoB or DSB.

For right now, I’m okay with that.  I don’t have any long-term goals, and don’t feel like I need any at this current point.  For now, I need to keep it simple and just keep making it day by day.  I am sure that a lot of people would disagree and wouldn’t want to live their lives that way, but I am doing what I can  to get by, knowing that at some point I will have the stability to do more.

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