Mondays used to be the worst day of the week for me, which I believe I shared with most other working people. It was just so hard to get back into the swing of things, and, on top of that, it seemed like there had always been some disaster over the weekend that screamed for immediate attention. I was almost always late on Mondays, and I often called in, just not able to wrap my head around what was surely waiting for me.
Since leaving the working world and going on disability, the days of the week became less important. There wasn’t a specific day I dreaded, because many of my days were the same. There was a lot of therapy in the beginning, and there is still some now, but for the most part I didn’t actually DREAD going. At least not in the beginning.
Lately, I had been coming to dread my weekly group and individual session. I hated going to group and I didn’t feel I was getting along with my therapist. After last week’s session, I told her I wasn’t going to do group anymore. She relented, surprisingly enough, and also cut me back to individual every other week. We had a really good session and accomplished a lot. I think not going to group and just going to therapy once a week is going to be perfect. I feel I am at that point.
I digress; what I wanted to address were my feelings on particular days of the week. Now, I am working Thursday thru Saturday and I am, for the most part, excited about that. My job is easy, I get out and about, and I meet interesting people, all the while feeling useful to my parents. My only issue with those days is that I rarely get anything else done. I don’t clean, don’t blog, don’t do laundry, don’t cook dinner. I just work. I suppose that is ok, but it is amazing how five hours of work can fill up a day.
A long time ago, DSB requested that we take one day each week to just spend time together. I brushed off the idea, stating that we already DO spend a lot of time together. I insisted it was silly, a control thing. Well, now that we have a lot more going on, I am getting the point. A few weeks ago, we sat down and decided that Mondays were going to be “our day.” We wouldn’t work, we wouldn’t worry about the house or things we “should” be doing. We would just be together.
I worried about the idea for awhile. I wasn’t sure how I would feel, just not doing anything on that day. Now, after just a few weeks, I cherish our Mondays. On Sunday, I have been cleaning up after the Thursday thru Saturday “work week” and have things fairly well under control. I do laundry, dishes, grocery shopping. I take out the trash and tidy up the house. I don’t get crazy about it, but I make it so that, on Monday, I can focus all of my attention on DSB without worrying about anything else.
Mondays with DSB are truly wonderful. Sometimes we go out and do things, but mostly we hang out and bullshit. DSB is my best friend, and our Mondays together fully confirm and convince me of that. There is no one else on this planet that I can do that with, where it doesn’t get old after several hours. DSB and I spend time together from the first cup of coffee to the 10:00pm news. Sometimes we will watch a movie or TV, but mostly, like I said, we just bullshit.
I love that we can do this and I know we are very blessed, because most couples can’t. I am of the strong belief that DSB and I are not like “most couples.” We seem to have a different understanding of the world and are fortunate enough to be able to devote an entire day to each other. For all the couples out there, I would encourage you to set aside whatever length of time you can to just being together and forgetting about the world’s bullshit.
QoB and Big Dog have been together 26+ years and they have what appears to be a great marriage. They run two businesses and before that both worked full-time jobs. They’re also not much for just sitting around and not doing anything; however, every day since I can remember, they sit around the table for at least a couple of hours and talk about anything and everything under the sun. My mom swears that it is one of the main things you can do as a couple to stay together.
If DSB and I can hold things together as well as my parents have for so many years, I would say we are truly blessed. And yes, we do work on it, but from what I’ve learned over the last year with DSB, a truly beautiful relationship takes work, so that’s what we’re going to keep doing.