Thoughtful Tuesdays


I don’t know how many times, in the throes of depression or in the midst of a severe mixed state, I have felt like there was no way I could get through another minute.  That it was all too much to handle and it would never get better.  Turns out I have a 100% success rate at getting through those times, and it’s now, when I’m feeling decent, that I can look back and reflect on those hard times and know that I am strong enough to weather the toughest storm.

I think, while knowing that I can handle the bad times, it is important to validate that, during the hard times, it really DOES feel like I won’t be able to manage a minute more.  It is easier when one is feeling well to realize that feelings aren’t always reality, even though it seems that way.  If only there was a way to remember this when things get bad, I might be able to cure myself, or perhaps make it at least a bit easier to handle.

For me, the remembering comes with words.  Written words.  If the current “Rose is okay” could write the “Rose is depressed” a letter, maybe someone in Rose’s life could talk her into reading it when she feels bad.  In a way, that’s what this blog is: hopeful letters to Rose for when she feels badly, and raw and honest letters to Rose for when she forgets how bad things can get.  Because, while it is a beautiful thing to be momentarily stable, it is essential to remember that, without things like medication or routine or schedule or time to process, that stability is not possible.




7 thoughts on “Thoughtful Tuesdays

  1. As a most beloved friend once told me… just because you’re in this moment of crisis, we do empirically know ’tis just a passing moment. Even tho’ it doesn’t feel that way.

    BoyOhBoy… that thought spoke to me very.damned.well through some very.rough.times in my teens and twenties. Fast forward thirty or forty somethin’ years… ’tis now an ingrained habit. A mantra if you will. Has served me well for many a good and a bad day.

    She was right…. ’tis always a passing moment, even though it never feels that way at the moment. Lesson learned=if it’s there, enjoy it…if it isn’t, it will eventually come ’round again. If it sucks, it’s just for the moment, and manana, or next, or next, will be a good day again.

    Blogging to yerself creates that diary of thoughts… the things that, without written words, make one forget just how good and/or bad it can be. Most importante, whatever ya feel… ’tis just a tick-tock in time. And life is hella good. …XOXO


  2. Writing really helps me keep the boogie man at bay. I’m not sure why, but it always has. Better than medication or psychotherapy. The only things better is my best friend making me laugh … and my dogs.


    • It does get through sometimes. What I notice more is that “happy Rose” listens to “depressed Rose” and makes note of what works and what doesn’t. Thanks for reading!


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