Sometimes, You Can Just Be Done

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Today’s Reverb prompt:

What was the greatest risk you took in 2013? What was the outcome?

I read this prompt early this morning and have been pondering on it all day long.  As long as I am medicated and fairly stable, I don’t really take risks.  I don’t even generally take calculated risks.  I was always that kid at the playground who said, “Hey guys, this is a bad idea!”  I was the college-aged kid who said, “We really shouldn’t be doing this!”  And I’m the person now who says, “We can’t do that…it’s too dangerous!”

So, a risk-taker I am not.  As I pondered over the prompt some more, it hit me.  I have done something risky this year.  While it is probably not considered “risky” for other people, it was for me.

I have been in therapy for the past eight years, solid.  Most of it was weekly, some of it twice a week, thrice a week, a few months of every few weeks.  And now down to once a month.  I feel like I’ve made progress and that I am at a point in my life where I don’t need it the way I used to.

I hadn’t seen my therapist in just under a month, the last time I saw her.  We reveled at how well I am doing and at how many of the symptoms of PTSD I had been experiencing have gone by the wayside (through difficult and careful work, I might add).  We talked about how the Intermediate Treatment Group I was in for almost a month had helped that along, and we talked about plans for the future.

I told her I wasn’t sure I needed much more therapy.  She doesn’t know me very well, but she seemed to agree.  I am going to come in a couple more times on a monthly basis, and then, maybe be done with regular therapy.  Of course, the door is always open if I want to go back, and I can see that at some point in my life I might want to.  But for now, I’m going to attend these little monthly sessions, make sure life keeps on going steady and well, and just see what happens.

I never thought I would see a day where I wouldn’t be in therapy.  It wasn’t presented as an option and that makes me sad, although I don’t think I could have really done it until now.  I just have much better coping skills than I ever had, and, thanks to the group I just went through, have much better planning and scheduling and structuring abilities.  Which makes life better because, well, it just does.  It makes ME better, anyway, and that’s what really matters.

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25 thoughts on “Sometimes, You Can Just Be Done

  1. Good for you, Rosie! I can really relate to this (although my journey with therapy ended much more abruptly and painfully than I would have wanted, which is a shame because the therapuetic process itself was excellent).
    It’s amazing just to live with your “stuff”, isn’t it, rather than constantly feeling like you’re trying to fix it? xx

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    • Thanks, Kat! I am really enjoying Reverb so far! Yes, I am very much wanting to just live with my “stuff.” And it’s something I’ve never really been able to do, but want to now. You SO get it. Cheers!

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  2. I remember when my therapist told me I was done. I was really shaken. I felt like Mom had rejected me. She was right. I wasn’t done with everything forever but I was done with that phase. It was a very strange moment in time. It really is something to celebrate, but I remember not feeling like celebrating. More like I was stunned.

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    • Thanks for commenting, Marilyn. When I told DSB that I was quitting, he freaked out. I think I am going to get similar from my mom. But like I said, sometimes you can just be done. I truly believe that.

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  3. I’m also in therapy but I’ve only been going for about a year now weekly, plus I was in an intensive outpatient program that met three hours daily for a month back in December.. wow, that was almost a year ago. Anyway, I hate one on one therapy and benefit more from skills groups, but unfortunately around here they don’t like it if you go to groups and don’t see a therapist. Argh. Anyway, good for you! Happy that you are feeling better enough to consider making a decision like this.

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    • See, with the right therapist, I’d rather do individual than group. However, my last group experience was very good…I think it had a lot to do with the leaders. At any rate, good therapy is good stuff. I will definitely go back if I feel it is needed.

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  4. Love this! If it feels right, it’s right. There aren’t wrong decisions in life, I realize. Also, other peoples opinions are not my business, my opinion of me is way more important an it’s the one that matters! Enjoy living and not analyzing. 🙂

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    • Thank you for commenting…yes, there really can be an end in sight for PTSD therapy. I’m not saying I feel perfect and don’t still have an issue here and there, but it is SO MUCH BETTER. I think the key will be to go back if I need it.

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