Reverb13 prompt for December 17th is as follows: What word did you select to be your travelling companion in 2013? What gifts did this word bring? What word will you choose to guide you through 2014? What do you hope it will bring into your life?
Because my brain couldn’t fathom the first part of this year, I read blog entries from earlier this year, and it appears that I was in survival mode, not really choosing any word persay to be a “travelling companion.” In the latter part of the year, I think I chose to focus on the word “recovery,” because that was what I was doing — entering recovery. For really, the first time ever.
That probably sounds a little dramatic, but it’s true. I got this idea in my head that life could be better and that it could stay that way. So I worked and worked on the little things that made my recovery happen, and now I sit here, a few weeks out from 2014 and I can say that I feel “in recovery” from my mental health issues. Do I thin k they will flare at some point in time? Absolutely, but I am doing what I can every day to keep myself under control and do the things that work for me.
The gifts that recovery has brought to my life are priceless. It has brought me into a much deeper and healthy relationship with DSB. It has allowed me to be closer to my mom and my dad. It has meant that most nights I sleep well, and I don’t look for trouble. It has given me the security to start letting go…of therapy, of worry, of guilt, of fear. I feel like there are parts of me now that have at leas partially healed, that I didn’t think ever would.
I don’t like to predict the future, but I think in 2014 I will be carrying the word, “hope,” with me. Hope that I can continue to improve personally and in my relationships. Hope that I can keep my smoking quit going, that I can lose weight, and start to exercise some. That I can keep setting goals and achieving them.
I hope these goals bring into my life more structure, happiness, and beauty. I know I need to take better care of myself, and here I am, end of 2013 already working on it. And in 2014, I want to see the following stats keep going higher and higer:
Three weeks, one day, 11 hours, 35 minutes and 24 seconds. 1348 cigarettes not smoked, saving $171.32. Life saved: 4 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes.
I simply can’t fathom the number of cigarettes I haven’t smoked. Amazing. And it is getting easier by the day. If you are smoking and thinking of quitting, give it some more thought — I never thought it would be so rewarding or how much better I would feel. Sweet success.