Yesterday’s post was pretty bleak, and that is how I have been feeling. I have had an okay day so far today, namely because I have just been hanging out with DSB and not doing much else. It’s midday now, and I plan to get my kitchen cleaned up (God bless dishwashers), do a little laundry (maybe), go to the grocery store for a few things DSB needs, and buy dog food (essential). I am hoping these tasks don’t stress me out too much. It seems like every time I leave the house, I get overwhelmed by this and that.
There are little, small, tiny things that improve my mood. I know this from previous depressive episodes and I did a little investigating through past blog entries to come up with some of these tiny things. And that is the best reason for this blog…so I can remind myself and do a little first-aid when things hit the fan. And even though a combination of little things doesn’t cure anything, at least I can feel better for five minutes or an hour, or even seconds. When you feel this bad, even a few seconds of pleasure are cherished, held close, until that depression comes and devours those pleasant feelings.
First and foremost, DSB and I have come up with a plan for how I can come home and not immediately pick a fight. When I come home from doing whatever, I am going to go in, give DSB a kiss and tell him I love him, and then go do some distracting or cathartic activity. My guess is it will be blogging, reading other blogs, or some combination of the two. I need my “alone” time and DSB is a person that doesn’t. He somewhat takes offense to me needing “alone” time, but he has learned that he will just have to deal with it because things are so unpleasant otherwise.
Other things I will be doing to improve my mood, in no particular order, include:
- Keeping my surroundings clean and clutter-free
- Coloring (yes, as in colored pencils and a coloring book)
- Blogging regularly and reading other blogs
- Reading books on my Kindle
- Getting back into watching my favorite three shows (that I am so far behind on) — The Good Wife, Grey’s Anatomy, and Downton Abbey
- Showering regularly (as hard as it is to make myself do, it always makes me feel better)
- Using my sunlamp
That doesn’t seem like much, and it really isn’t, but if I can do those things, I know in time I can feel better. I don’t feel as helpless today as I did yesterday. It really helped to go back and read posts from when I was feeling severely depressed and to think, “Hey, things might not be as bad as they were then, and you made it through it before.”