Pick Me Up
What is the one word or phrase that immediately cheers you up when you hear it?
The last two years have left me extremely isolated. I find myself with a few blog friends, and family. Now, they’re all amazing people, and now I have more time to spend with them…talking, chatting, texting, emailing. There’s just more.
My favorite phrase is:
I don’t think the people I am friends with, nor my family realize how much just a text or an email can make my day. I mean, it can literally turn it around, especially here lately.
I have been trying to reach out more, but at the same time not wanting to reach out too much and seem needy. But now there are no restrictions on me, and I am starving for even a little bit of attention. Even a “hey, how’s your day going?” is going to spark a long response from me.
I’m sure that can get annoying, and I know friends and family are sick to death of me talking about DSB, but it’s where my head’s at right now. I’m trying to move on, but you can’t resolve two years in a week’s time.
I am not trying to say that my family and friends are not paying me enough attention. What I’m trying to say is that, any communication, is cherished and changes my day. My mom might text me to pick up some rice for Cinco de Mayo (which was one of the best meals I’d had in a long time, Madre), and I appreciate her doing that perhaps over the top because there is a part of me that feels so very alone.
It’s hard to go from living your life with someone who is always around and always right on top of you, to being, well, free. That lack of attention, even if it was negative attention, is noticeable, palpable. My parents are doing a great job of including me and making sure I don’t have too much alone time, but there is only so much they can do.
Most of this, I just need to get through. I need to settle down into being alone and get into a routine. I know that. But while I’m doing that, I’m still going to jump for joy at every new text message, every new email, every new call. Probably for awhile, would be my guess.