Beloved Glitchiness

Premise:  Think about an object, an activity, or a cultural phenomenon you really don’t like.  Now tell us why it’s the BEST thing ever.

The wonderful world of electronics has evolved, re-evolved, and is NOW better than ever.

Let’s take the cell phone.  Remember when cell phones required a large suitcase in order to connect?  And how, usually, the call would ring through?  Instead, we now have iPhones and smart phones.  There are these things called “apps” that seem to be everywhere, including on Windows 8.  That sure was a good idea, Windows!  Anyone who is anyone knows how to use every app imaginable and it is super-good on the eyes to stare at a phone all day, playing CandyCrush or watching the latest movie or checking the stock market.

Another word about smart phones — don’t they make for the clearest connection ever?  I mean, I haven’t had a dropped call in almost ten years!  And the quality of the connection is always well above-board.  That commercial where the Verizon guy asks, “can you hear me now?” as he wanders the globe was NOT KIDDING when he affirmed that, yes, he was heard now.

Moving on to the home.  It is now necessary to have a universal remote to power all of  your devices.  Look!  Minimizing remotes is such a great idea, I wish they had thought of this years ago.  Now, when you punch the wrong input button and can’t seem to get your digital antennae working, you get some great exercise from all the screaming and stomping around your house this entails.

Apparently, also, after being dropped, these nifty little inventions are smart enough to request that they be reprogrammed to work with your electronics again.  They don’t tell you that though — that would diminish your own sense of importance.  Electronics are made to make YOU feel smarter.  You, yes you, can Google.  Once you find the website that tells you how to program your remote, it of course requests that you flip through the user manual that was not included in the original packaging, to find a specific code with which you would program your remote.

Windows 8 — you are the loveliest piece of software I have ever known.  I love not being able to find my desktop and having to search through apps in order to put a post up on WP.  Isn’t there an app for that?  An app for finding apps?  I’m sure, if not, one will be created soon.  Maybe ask your computer, Ms. Windows 8, and if you can find the help section, you just might be able to type in the winning question.  All of these brain exercises are given to you totally FREE from Microsoft, God love ’em.

I could go on, but my computer just told me it is necessary to restart in order not to lose my data.  Not that it ever WOULD lose my data, because everything I own is so smartly stored on the WWW on the oh-so-user friendly Google Drive.

And yep, I think there’s an app for that.

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16 thoughts on “Beloved Glitchiness

  1. I get a lot of exercise — vocal and physical — running around screaming at gadgets. Lucky me, all my computers run Win 7. Just the stupid, worthless, useless piece of crap windows tablet uses 8 and I hate it so much, I’ve pretty much stopped using the tablet at all. And I turned my cell phone off because I could not hear anything even when we GOT a connection … assuming we stayed connected long enough to get past “Hey, it’s Marilyn … how … hello? Are you still there? Hello?” Yes, you are right. Modern electronics have freed us! And about those manuals I used to write before I was declared obsolete because no one reads manuals …

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    • My home computer runs XP (yowza!), but all the work computers are Windows 8 and I get sooo frustrated! I think if it was my home computer, I would sell it on Craigslist and go try and find a Win7. And you know me, Marilyn…where are my friggin’ manuals? I guess I’m just a nerd in that I feel the need to read through the whole thing.

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  2. Love it! Yep. These ‘smart’ devices are too ‘smart’ for their own good. And ours! I think we need to keep having kids so we always have a teenager to help out with our gadgets. Because it’s only going to get worse! Won’t be long before you attach your smart phone or computer to your brain so you can just THINK your way around. That could prove interesting to those of us with bipolar – or any number of other mental illnesses. LOL

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    • Oh mercy, I’m not sure I could handle having a phone attached to my brain, but it probably is in the not so distant future, you’re right. I’m not lucky enough to have access to teenagers to figure out my tech problems, which is how Kizzie learned so many curse words. 😀

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  3. LOL…I love this! Windows 8 has my husband at a complete loss when I ask him to help me with something on my laptop, which is kind of funny, as HE is supposed to be the “tech master” of the house. He can’t locate the control panel ha ha ha. Great post Rose!

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  4. Unfortunately, I am also on the train. The best thing ever was the commencement of the www (thanks Al, we’ll do lunch).

    When it reaches the point where I must download “apps” for any.f’g.thing I should need to do… when my g.d. phone still remains smarter than I (dammit, I.am.not.stupid)… when all the tech manuals in the world can no longer keep up with current tech-reality (yes, Mrs. A…..but we no longer want to read War and Peace in order to survive the latest and greatest)…

    Ahem… there reaches a point where we swear out the window…. Mad as Hell, and can’t take any more!!.

    Am beginning to understand the phrase… can’t teach an old dog a new trick. Used to believe that was silly… Commencing to understand… old dog just doesn’t care to keep learning new tricks. Sit.Down.Stay. Good rant, Rosa…XOXO

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  5. New theme! Pretty!

    I miss my Nokia 5100 with the interchangeable faceplates. Battery for days , decent call quality and it had that snake game too! 🙂

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    • Thanks, Jeanette! Marilyn Armstrong so kindly lent me the photo, as we all know how crappy I am about taking them. But otherwise, I’m really liking it a lot more.

      I don’t have a smart phone. I have some sort of LG that has a touch screen and a qwerty board. I hate the touchscreen part of it, but must have the keyboard. I don’t get that whole tapping on the screen BS. 😀

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