First off, Mom keeps recruiting me to do the heavy lifting. Mom read the weekly Daily Post writing prompt and thought that, since she is the queen of list posts (second perhaps only to Sheena), she would make things more interesting by putting me in the mix, since ya know, I have true cholo talent. This particular picture just has me out of my normal dress. I be rocking that flannel, those chinos, that wifebeater, that bandanna. If Mom could take a picture to save her life, she’d show you.
You’re not here to read about my daily life, though. You’re here to play a little drinking game that me and my fellow cholos call, “I’ve Never.” Smile if you know the game I’m talking about. The premise is that you get a group of people together, and each person says out loud something they have never done. For example, Mom might say, “I’ve never visited a winery.” And everyone would look at her stupid, because those aren’t the fun and embarrassing questions that normally get asked. If someone in the group HAS performed or been a party to one of the mentioned, “I’ve never’s,” then they take a drink.
The real reason Mom is having me lead this party is because she HAS done most of the things that will be mentioned. Since I am just a young cholo pup and haven’t done most of these things, I’m in the clear. So here we go! Grab your beverage 0f choice (and it doesn’t have to contain alcohol), and let’s get started.
We’re only going to twenty, but y’all could take it further down in the comments section. Just remember to play nice.
1) “I’ve never written two posts about the exact same thing, accidentally.”
2) “I’ve never inadvertently misquoted or misreferenced a picture or person.”
3) “I’ve never followed the last ten people who followed my blog, just to see if one of them is a real person.”
4) “I’ve never done a mass un-follow when it seemed like a group of people kept getting on my nerves.”
5) “I’ve never super-regretted putting my email address out there for everyone to see.”
6) “I’ve never thought shady thoughts about people who NEVER answer their comments.”
7) “I’ve never unfollowed someone JUST because they didn’t answer their comments.”
8) “I’ve never got up in the middle of the night and posted because I had something to say and had to get it out right away.”
9) “I’ve never hit “like” after only reading the first two paragraphs.”
10) “I’ve never used Reader only once and found it annoying.”
11) “I’ve never not accepted blog awards because I was too lazy to do the work that goes with it.”
12) “I’ve never followed someone and read all their work but never commented or liked.”
13) “I’ve never imagined what it would be like for all of my bloggie friends to live in the same town as me.”
14) “I’ve never been irritated with a person that posts three sentence posts, ten times a day. Unfollow!”
15) “I’ve never petted my dog all the while typing a blog post.”
16) “I’ve never been without a working computer and thought I might go crazy if I just couldn’t blog.”
17) I’ve never believed in the true good in people, until I saw it time and time again on the Internet.
18) I’ve never let dinner burn to a crisp because I was in the middle of a really good post.
19) I’ve never woken up in the middle of the night to check my comments and likes from the post I wrote right before going to bed.
20) I’ve never have thought some of my best friends would be from blog-land.
Mom is headed off to pee a river, because she had to drink so much, so she is leaving the ending to me. I salute you bloggers, and I salute the pups who go hours treat-less because our parents couldn’t be bothered to get up off the office chair. We must band together. Puppies unite! (and kittehs…I have other plans for you)