A Commitment to Experience Myself Differently

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If you’re determined to think of yourself as limited, fearful, vulnerable, or scarred by past experience,

know only that you have chosen to do so,

and that the opportunity to experience yourself differently is always available

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, The Joy of Living

(Quote found at Mindful Balance, one of my favorite pages)

This quote smacked me in the face at 5:00 this morning.  And I mean, smacked me and called me its runny-nosed brother, and smooshed my face into the carpet, calling me names all the way.  It knocked me the eff over.

Why didn’t I ever think of this?  Why hadn’t I listened when I heard it before?  How I see myself is a CHOICE.  Self-perception is IN MY HANDS.  I can keep the good and dismiss the bad.  I don’t have to perseverate on all the bad things that have happened to me throughout life.  They do not define me.

I have this breakthrough every now and again.   Usually after Goddess of Mindfulness has said something or after I read something like the above quote.  It just never seems to stick.  With the life I am living now, the life I am trying to build, you know, that life worth living, this MUST stick.  I MUST reinvent who I am.  Embrace the good, out with the negative thinking of myself.

The  one thing in the quote I don’t agree with, is making it sound like being vulnerable is a negative thing.  Perhaps if you consider yourself overly vulnerable, like any little thing is going to reach into the safe world you’ve built and snatch it away.  That’s a negative form of vulnerability.  But the vulnerability I see in myself, I consider a good thing.

Maybe this is because I am equating being vulnerable with being open, with being willing.  These are two things I am striving toward, and maybe they don’t equal vulnerability.  I only say they do because, well, they sure do make me feel that way.  I think you have to be willing to open yourself up to new things, new ideas, new people in order to grow, and that does make you vulnerable.

With that being said, I’ll take the majority of the quote as pure words of wisdom, and leave that one word out.  For me, being vulnerable is a place I need to be at, for now.  I need to leave myself open, even if it means I’m going to get my feelings  hurt or laughed  at or rejected.  It’s something I need to do, for me.

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19 thoughts on “A Commitment to Experience Myself Differently

  1. I love this blog!! I totally understand where you are coming from! especially this :
    “And I mean, smacked me and called me its runny-nosed brother, and smooshed my face into the carpet, calling me names all the way. It knocked me the eff over.” and this:
    “I’ll take the majority of the quote as pure words of wisdom, and leave that one word out. For me, being vulnerable is a place I need to be at, for now. I need to leave myself open, even if it means I’m going to get my feelings hurt or laughed at or rejected. It’s something I need to do, for me.”

    thank you. I am getting more updates from your blog. Its weird bc I can’t comment from my phone, I can only like your blog, I have to go to computer to comment. and my phone is comically large and overpowering. It frustrates me to no end . or maybe it’s wordpress. lol

    Liked by 2 people

  2. That is a good quote. This post made me go, ‘Yay!’ I love it when I get those epiphanies. I think you’re absolutely right, being vulnerable isn’t a bad thing, it means you’re open and willing like you said. Lots to think about. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, epiphany moments are awesome. 🙂 I am finding more and more people agree with the definition of “vulnerable” that I listed so I am wondering if MOST people think of it that way, or just like-minded people in the blogosphere. Would be an interesting poll. 🙂

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  3. I don’t know if you can fix everything by believing in yourself, but it helps. A lot. And NOT believing in yourself hurts you in every way. If you see yourself as strong and able to deal with life, there’s a lot better chance you will be. When you dwell in fear, you see nothing but things to be afraid of. Go forth and slay dragons, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re right. Balance in all things. Perfectly rational people (if they existed) would still hit many obstacles and roadblocks. Besides, the joy of humanity is that we are evolving and many times that is through less than successful moments.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Vulnerable to me, means pretty much what it sez. Leaving one in a position for possible hurt or pain? That’s hopefully pretty much the Oxford on it, if remembered correctly.
    And to that I would say….. I love, love, love the quote. And would also leave that one word outta it, to be true to self. If one cannot open up, afraid of hurt or pain, one becomes a cowering individual waiting for the next strike.
    Bet that Rinpoche guy is pretty much smackin’ his head right now, and saying…. Wow!! I could’ve had a V-8. 😉 How did he know a bunch of thinkers would actually take heart, and put his words to their test. 😀

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