Not Giving Up (On This Blog)

This blog is ancient, at almost seven years.  In the past, there have been times I have given it up for long periods.  And as you likely know, the last few months have been sporadic at best.  The decision for my parents to get divorced, to live separately, to not love each other anymore was more than quite difficult for me.  For a very brief moment, I made that my problem and stressed myself even further.  Now, I know it is not my problem, (of course) not my fault, and is (definitely) not for me to fix.

That’s good, right?  So I’ve had those realizations (months ago) and life should be gee-whiz awesome, right?  I do so wish.  Depression and severe anxiety have been constantly tormenting me, and while I now can have a few good hours here or there, or sometimes even a day, it is so very rare to get any kind of real relief.  And sometimes it just feels like I get smacked every day in the face by something new.  That probably isn’t reality.  It does FEEL that way, however.

I was so looking forward to Nano Poblano and I have totally screwed the pooch on that one for this year — I am optimistic enough about this blog to say I will make it up in 2015.  So it shall be, right?  I really admire all of the Peppers and other participants who are cranking out 1+ posts per day in celebration of NaBloPoMo.  I truly find some of you all quite amazing, and then also thankful that it seems you will not intentionally make me feel badly for my less-than-stellar performance this year.

I am here today to say (and declare, mostly to myself) I am not giving up on RosieSmrtiePants or blogging or dealing with my issues or anything else for that matter.  I want out of the “I’m giving this shit up” stage.  All I really want is to feel better, and I think part of blogging holds that key for me.

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28 thoughts on “Not Giving Up (On This Blog)

    • Loved the link…. have you gone through and read people’s comments? Well worth time spent. Thank you for passing it along! 🙂

      Yes, going easy, am trying — my goal is to get some serious TV-watching done over the holiday (and book-reading, too). I think I remember reading that you are not in a place that celebrates Thanksgiving, right?

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      • Yes I did read some of the comments 🙂

        That’s right, I’m in England, so no Thanksgiving for us, although I still feel a little bit part of it because of interacting with so many bloggers in the states who are talking about it, plus I made pumpkin muffins last week for my second blog (a recipe one) the other day as a Thanksgiving idea and I’m going to make a pumpkin pie too for us on Thursday. My daughter was born in the states, so it’s nice for us to give a little nod to the occasion at least!

        Happy TV watching and book reading Thanksgiving to you! 🙂

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  1. I’m glad you aren’t giving up. I would really, seriously miss you!

    About that whole divorce thing: A divorce is the official and public acknowledgment of a situation that probably existed for a long time. It isn’t the disease — it’s telling the world what the participants already knew. That it’s over.

    Divorce is the end of denial, of “smiling for the camera,” of pretending everything is JUST FINE. Sometimes, it’s also acknowledging to yourself there’s no way to fix what’s broken. It may seem out of the blue to you, but it isn’t.

    Don’t feel excluded. Within a marriage, often no one knows what’s going on until there’s some kind of epiphany — revelation. Despite what you see on TV, most people do NOT confide their intent to divorce to anyone — not family, not friends, not even each other — until they actually file papers.

    Maybe it’s different in Hollywood, but out in the real world, divorce is the last act in a long performance, the final bow when everything else has already failed.

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    • I know! I would really miss you, too! Sometimes its you and a few others that make me stick around, and for that reason only!

      Ok so I think I was finally ready to read/hear this about divorce and what has been going on. I never looked at it that way, but think it would be helpful to. And you are right, it came up so suddenly. I’m working my best right now at not thinking about it too much — seems I have my own problems that need attention. 🙂

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      • You can’t do anything about someone else’s divorce, so you energy will be better used taking care of YOU. Just remember — if YOU don’t take care of you, no one will. It’s a lifetime assignment.

        I have the same job and I get really tired of it, but that’s the way it is.

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  2. Marilyn hit on what I was going to say: They stopped deciding to love each other a while ago, not just now. The news may be new to you, which is very understandable for you to react like you have.

    I am glad you are sticking it out too! Here’s to the rest of this year, and then 2015!

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    • And wowza the news IS new to me, but now I kinds get it. Or get it more so anyway. And yes, definitely glad to be sticking it out and glad that I know YOU will be around to do NaBloPoMo with in 2015!

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      • Hehe 🙂 Take your time – the posts aren’t going anywhere… Getting your essence back is more important. How are all your stomach problems? (Can mail me if you don’t want it on your blog). I can’t imagine being in your position right now :S Sending smiles your way in case you need to fool people and can’t muster your own 😉

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  3. 7 years? wow, I’m shocked. You must remember back in the days there were just a few of us mental health bloggers around. Now all these young whipper snappers have sprung up everywhere. 🙂 Don’t push yourself, Rosa. There’s no rule that says you have to post everyday. I cut back to only 3 times a week and I feel so much better for it.

    Of course, you probably are feeling like once a week is too many and that’s ok. Do what you can and we’ll be waiting for you

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    • When I first started blogging, the MH bloggers were very few and far between, Definitely different now! I am glad you are being patient with me in my struggles to blog regularly. I think I’m not going to put a goal on how many times I post a week, and just take that pressure off. 🙂

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  4. I hope you can again find the joy or comfort you had in your writing. Work is a four letter word but it’s also a vehicle for reaching out (I’m in!), sharing struggles (so inspirational), and defining realism (unlike the Kardashians). The work may be your pain now but it’s our gain – and hopefully it will be yours again. Continuing is truly unselfish.

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    • Thank you, Anon, for stopping by. I truly am finding that joy and comfort again and it is such a good feeling. I really can appreciate what you are saying about blogging. I am sure there is a reason you comment under anonymous, but it sounds like you have a blog, too, and I would love to read it. You could always email me — RosieSmrtiePantsgmail.com

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  5. I think this is a good decision. Give yourself permission to write when you are up for it and trust that life situations can be overwhelming at times.

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  6. We’re here for you always, whatever month it is. Nano Poblano or not, Rosie. It took a special November for me to find your blog of seven years (holy crap on that longevity!) but now you’ve got me hanging around watching what you write. Yay for your decision to keep at it. You can do it, Rosie.

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    • Thanks, Mark! The beauty of blogging is really all the community and I was just sad that my efforts are coming in at the end of the game. I appreciate you being so supportive and hope the blog gods shine brightly upon us for 2015! 🙂

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  7. 7 years is impressive. I think wordpress is a great community, I stopped blogging for a couple if months and only restarted after receiving some nice e mails asking me if I was ok. Blogging has many benefits, but it should never be a chore.

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