O.K., Wild One!

Okay, so maybe “wild” isn’t the right word.  Hypomania?  Mania, even?  What started out as just some “really great” feelings has evolved into something more.  I’m not sleeping but three or four hours a night, and those hours aren’t all at one time.  Nightmares have come on with an even greater vengeance.  I find my thoughts to be confused and jumbled and quite speedy, my speech is pressured, and one day seems to capture ten different mood shifts.

No bueno, my friends.  I did go to see the amazing psychiatrist last week and he increased my Lithium and added Seroquel as a PRN show-stopper of sorts, but I have had little relief.  Especially in the sleep department.  My tolerance for other humans has begun to shrink, and even my feelings of empathy for the puppies in my life who struggle with fireworks and thunder and every other loud noise have been diminished.

I miss blogging every day, but most days I find that I just don’t have much to say.  Or much to say that I think bears repeating from my tired old brain.  Sometimes I think I should just throw it out there anyway, but I don’t.  I admire bloggers who do it day-in-and-out, and maybe I’ll get back there some day.  I think I would have a hard time throwing RosieSmrtiePants away altogether, and don’t think that day is coming anytime soon.  Maybe I could embrace a weekly blogging schedule.  You know, a SCHEDULE.  Gah!

So many things in life are better these days, so it is really aggravating to me that I must still be on the bipolar circus ride of up-down-all-around.  I have resigned myself to think that perhaps it will ALWAYS be that way.  I mean, if the past 33 years is any indication anyway.  I comfort myself by reminding Rosa that at least the current state of affairs does not 100% revolve around depression and anxiety.  Yay for mania (except, ick, really) for keeping things interesting and here’s to a goal of no hysterical crying for 24 hours.

We all have goals, am I right?  ;). Sure do love y’all!

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5 thoughts on “O.K., Wild One!

  1. It can, and will, get better. Life isn’t always about smooth and steady, sometimes it’s about having to prove to yourself how much of a badass you really are. 😉 Love you too honey. Hang in there. ❤

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  2. Major (((HUGS))) to you. You got this, you can do it!

    I think I need to get back into a routine on here myself. Seems I may have been more sane when I was rambling away than I am when I am not.

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  3. Hey! I was wondering what happened to you the other day 🙂 if you hadn’t written soon, I’d’ve mailed you.
    Seeing your name in my reader made me smile 🙂
    Until soon!

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  4. I don’t have any special words of wisdom. I keep waiting for a nice, quiet interval without any major crisis, but so far … it has been more of the same old, same old. For 68 years. I think as we get older, as the hormones start dropping out, it gets easier. For most of us.

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