How Not To Fuel the Fire

I have been a plus-size woman for the majority of my adult life.  Some years bigger than others (ahem…some DECADES bigger than others), but with the exception of a few years here and there, I have carried quite a bit of extra weight.  I have been extremely lucky, in that I have developed very few medical problems this extra weight.

Yes, I have sleep apnea and slightly high blood pressure, but both are easily treatable — one with a CPAP machine that I am devoted to wearing every time I lie down, and the blood pressure with a tiny dose of medication.  I again say, I have been extremely lucky, and I don’t really lose sight of that.  I know things could be much worse for my physical health because of my size (oy, and the smoking), but thanks to good genetics or the moon pulling the tides or what-have-you, I don’t suffer much with physical ills.

When I first started this blog over seven years ago, I was quite overweight, although not nearly to the degree I am now, and I actually DID have some health problems.  I joined Weight Watchers, dropped a bunch of weight, and walked three to ten miles a day (every day).  Unfortunately, I had a knee energy when I (foolishly) decided I was skinny enough to start running, and the scale has been on the uptick ever since.

For the past few months I have been feeling quite miserable physically, and I finally went and saw my primary care provider, who ran a bunch of labs.  It turned out that my fasting glucose was quite high, and she immediately decided that I had diabetes and she needed to prescribe Metformin (a diabetic medication) and all would be well.

Well, hellz no, lady!  With the 19 pills I take every morning and 24 I take every night for mental health issues, I’m not going to just throw another pill on top of things, all willy nilly.  SO, I asked her to test my A1C (it is more of an average of your blood sugar levels over a much longer period of time, rather than just the one instance).

And my A1C was NORMAL and my mononucleosis test came back NEGATIVE and so I am celebrating because…yay…I haven’t totally screwed my body up yet!  Now, of course, this doesn’t explain why I feel so awful physically, but at least I know that most of my labs are normal, so this is great news.

I spoke with my provider’s nurse, and my provider would like me to mostly eliminate carbohydrates and eat more fruits and vegetables.  I am going to take this under consideration, but I don’t want to do anything too extreme as I have a history of eating disorder, including but not limited to extreme preoccupation with food and calories.

I have not participated in *hardly* any eating disorder activity since LarBear and I have been together, and I want to keep it that way.  I don’t want to get really focused on a certain diet that I need to keep, and end up back where I used to be — all-consumed by anything that went into my mouth (and, similarly, that which was purged).  BUT, I do want to be a healthier person and I really do want to feel better physically so I can do more things.

There is the push and pull, now, that I need to lose weight and exercise more, and I do know that.  I am grateful I have yet to eff up the one body that I have been given on this planet (although I have really put it through quite the cycles of abuse) and so I feel very thankful for that.  I don’t want to worsen things, and turn that next A1C that I have to have drawn in two months into a problem number, but as stated before, don’t want to restart the eating disorder cycle (because it is the biggest bitch ever to get out of).

Any constructive thoughts are welcomed, desired, hoped-for, et cetera, ad nauseum!  😀

12 thoughts on “How Not To Fuel the Fire

  1. Eat loads of the stuff you can pronounce 🙂 And occasionally the stuff that you can’t, but which makes you smile.

    My guess is that a person can’t actually eat enough whole grain rice (plain, no sauce) to gain weight. Same goes for potatoes and carrots and strawberries, and probably milk. Meat you can recognise as meat is probably ok too. So a combination of all things natural, and some chocolate and ice cream thrown in for good measure 🙂 🙂 🙂
    I would also say reduce drinks which aren’t water, tea, milk etc. Even the not-sugar sweeteners have a bad reputation..

    All advice to be taken with a large pinch of salt, because I know how many other things need doing besides cooking, and because I have lost and regained 5kg this year….


  2. I lost 174 lbs. after bariatric surgery. It has worked for many people. Whether or not it would work for you is a matter for research, but if you have a top-notch surgeon and proper post op care, it’s a life changer. It’s at least worth checking out. Because the extra weight catches up with you. I can personally testify to that. The toll it takes on your heart and joints and every other system may not show up for years, but it does, inevitably, show up.


    • I have looked into it a couple times, and frankly, it scares the bejeezus out of me. I’m not sure I could make it work, that I would be one of the ones that makes it fail, if that makes any sense.


  3. Mom and I mostly do a low-carb diet, though not religiously. What that looks like for us is more veggies than starchy stuff at meals, minimal pasta and rice, and plenty of lean protein. It’s been working fairly well for me.


  4. Low fat foods are a scam. The brain and the hormones run on fat and the body needs quality fats. The obesity epidemic in the United States has spiked in the last 20 years of low fat foods, artificial sweeteners, and genetically modified foods.
    What you want to avoid is sugar, limiting even sugar from fruit, and try to eliminate high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, and sucralose, aspartame, splenda, maltodextrin, and other artificial sweeteners. You also want to consume smaller quantities of foods that turn quickly into sugar, like wheat products.
    Artificial sweeteners confuse the hormones and are toxic for the body. One of the side effects of aspartame is weight gain. Consuming a lot of sugar can make your ghrelin hormone out of control. When stable, ghrelin is the hormone that tells your body that you’re full.
    I’ve lost 25 pounds in the past couple years and my sister has lost 35 lbs since January– although admittedly we are young. My sister goes to an exercise program at the chiropractor’s office. One of the women there is in her 60’s and has lost a lot of weight since January. They do HIIT, high intensity interval training, so you spend less time exercising but get more powerful results. Low to moderate intensity exercise can actually increase cortisol in the body
    You might be interested in the meal plans featured in “Cruise Ship or Nursing Home” or the guidelines laid out in “The anti-anxiety food solution,” which are similar.
    “Let food be your medicine, and your medicine food.”


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