Sometimes I get so caught up with what is in my head, what nonsense is spinning and scrambling and screaming at me. As a wise woman said to me not too many hours ago, after I had thrown my temper tantrum and had my pity party, not everyone’s reality is the same. And that is just so true — true enough that it struck me right in the heart, but I didn’t feel it lodged there until hours later. So, that wise woman, and then the very special friend that messaged me, having a hard time, and completely brought me out of my own bullshit problem: Thank you, both.
Thank you for making me remember that I have more blessings in my life than I am ever grateful for. Thank you for bringing me back to myself and making me realize that wow, things are not just “ok” — they’re actually pretty darned great. Without the wise woman’s words, and the special friend’s typing-back-and-forth to me, I would probably still be sitting here and listening to my sad music and crying and feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I feel as if I have had a real “a-ha!” moment.
- I am thankful for the basics, the things I take for granted every day — a warm home; enough food to more than feed myself, LarBear, and the dogs; working transportation; the basics of life that so many people have to worry about, which I do not.
- I’m grateful for LarBear, for our relationship, for him not giving up on me so many times when I have been whacked-out-symptomatic, for always giving more of himself than I think is possible, for always making me feel safe, secure, loved.
- For three parental figures who have been there, and continue to be there, for me no matter what the issue is. Maybe I don’t always get exactly as much of your time or love as I would want, but I have never wanted for anything, and I know that when it comes down to it, you would be there with bells on if it really, really mattered to me.
- For the Kizzer dog, who has brought more joy to my life than I ever would have thought possible, and for Lucy Lou who joined the party more recently, but is just as loved.
- For a truly remarkable psychiatrist and mental health team, in general. In addition, I have a wonderful medical primary care provider and good access to hospitals and urgent care.
- I am thankful for friends, online and not, that constantly keep me entertained, laughing, and sometimes cry with me.
- For the best DBT group I have ever been in, for all my years of doing DBT. It has never made more sense, and I have never felt closer to another group of people other than my family.
- For my sister — for being who she is, for making time to call and text when she can, and always supporting me with her expertise when I am trying to exercise without breaking a foot or harming myself otherwise.
- For good books, and for an excellent library that keeps my Kindle full.
- For an ever-growing music library, thanks to LarBear