Today, missing a person in my life who hasn’t completely left it, but pushes me away tiny bit by tiny bit. There is so much I want to say, that I won’t, that I can’t (for various reasons). I had a person in my life for almost 34 years who I thought loved me, for me, and treated me as his own. Now that things are different, I yearn to be able to turn to him as I did all of those years, but my mind and heart have been so damaged by the past year, and all of his words, his actions and inactions, that I have to leave it alone. This may end up being the first DBT complete “burning bridges” that I have to do. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but I don’t see any change in the future, and if I look back far enough, it wasn’t usually good enough to make me feel okay in the first place.