Resurfacing After a Period of Extreme Selfishness

I have barely looked at another blog, have stopped interacting with nearly everyone I follow on FaceBook, have ceased communications with the small handful of people that I had usually communicated with on a semi-regular basis, and I went underground.  My friend Marilyn had talked to me previously about hunkering down and waiting for the storms to pass, and I guess maybe I took that to extremes a bit.

The positive news about my (relatively) short hiatus from all others in my world is that:

  1.  I have been smoke-free since January 3rd.  Parts of it were hard, parts of it were nearly impossible, but I have made it this far and I don’t plan on turning back.  As a bonus to this accomplishment, I did this without totally wearing out my (now) miniaturized support system.  (as in, no dogs or boyfriends or close family members were harmed in the obtaining of over three months smoke free…yay!)
  2. I have lost 67ish pounds since December, thanks to a healthy eating plan (that is sustainable in the long-run) and almost-daily aerobic exercise.  It turns out that “those people” were actually right about exercise being good for your mood, body, and overall well-being.
  3. I have become “more social.”  That doesn’t mean I am hitting up the grocery store or going to parties or any such nonsense.  It means that, at the YMCA where I exercise every day, it is kind of similar to how it was on the long-ago “Cheers” sitcom, where everyone really DOES know my name.  I must say, it does make exercising easier, to have all of those supportive people around.
  4. I have more “stuff” figured out in my life.  Although therapy  has been helpful, I have mostly grown in life because I am learning what makes me happy and I am learning to say “no” when something doesn’t feel good and I am (constantly) trying something new every day to grow myself.

I have missed blogging pretty terribly, and have missed some of my blog friends even more, but my hopes is that I can reconnect with people easier now that I am a bit more stable.  I would love to start writing in this thing again.  I don’t know if anyone really cares about that, save for me, but I do miss writing things out.  I have been keeping an altered art journal, and writing pretty regularly in that by hand, and I plan to keep that up, but again, am hoping to maybe throw a few words up in this space every now and again.

If there is a thought in your head that I have forgotten about you, chances are pretty much 99% that this is not the case, that I just needed to disappear for awhile.  I am not going to do a bunch of shout-outs right here and now, just know I have missed you and I hope we can catch up soon.  I am bringing a happier, calmer, and healthier Rosa to the table, and I hope you stop by and say hi soon!

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16 thoughts on “Resurfacing After a Period of Extreme Selfishness

  1. Thank you … but you know, that hunkering down DOES help. Sometimes, you need to do what you need to do. You can’t do everything, so you take care of whatever is at the top of your list and that seems to be exactly what you’ve done. You stopped smoking. You put yourself and a working diet. You’re learning what things make you feel better. NO amount of therapy will teach you that. it’s something everyone has to learn for themselves. I think you’re doing great.

    I write because I’m a writer. I love writing, but I have had long periods when I didn’t write or take pictures. Life rolls in cycles. It’s not like the writing will run away from you. It will always be there! Always.

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    • Thank you for commenting, Marilyn. I was hoping you would. The hunkering down has definitely done me much good, and still I am doing some hunkering down just because it has either become routine, or I have found that certain places/people/things have no place in a life that I would like to call fairly happy or content, on a good day.

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  2. That’s the spirit! Congratulations on quitting smoking. To quit any vice must come with determination and discipline. I must commend you for having both. It wasn’t a small feat. What you’d pulled off within your short self-exile.

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    • Thank you, Karen. Those vices seem to be the tip of the iceberg, and interestingly it isn’t lack of nicotine or desire of junk food that has been keeping me awake at night. I will take what I have gained, and I plan to build, even more.

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  3. You’ve accomplished so much!! Felicidades. I can totally relate to “disappearing” and not being very social in order to get stuff done.

    I’d love to hear about your weightloss routine.

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    • Thanks for coming by, Jill. My weight loss routine mostly consists of 90 minutes to two hours of intensive cardio in the pool and staying under 1400 cal each day, while trying to limit carbs and sugar. It was really hard when I first started, but now it is second nature, and the junk that I used to turn to for comfort doesn’t taste good anymore (AND, if I do partake a bit too heavily in something very fatty or sugary, my tummy lets me know all about it, because it just isn’t used to it anymore). If you want to know more, feel free to let me know in this comment thread and perhaps we can exchange email addys.

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    • Cynthia, I am so happy you left a comment. I have missed your positivity in my life and I hope you know that a great deal of the inspiration I use for just plowing forward comes from you, from your books, from emailing. I hope you are doing well and that we can get back to communicating, which definitely fell off on my end because I fell off the face of the Earth. 🙂

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  4. I ALWAYS enjoy reading your blogs and you Facebook stuff as of late. I am soooo proud of you for your accomplishments? I also stopped smoking the first of the year but haven’t been as successful with the food. Aunt Joyce and I and possibly Molly may make a Kansas trip this year to see everyone and it’s been so long since I’ve seen you and it would be great. Keep up the amazing work Rose

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    • Thank you, Uncle Mike, this comment really warms my heart. I would so love to see you and Aunt Joyce and Molly and anyone that was able to make a trip back to Kansas. I have a lot of guilt in my heart about not getting back up North for so many years — it seems that my mental health generally stood solidly in my way, and I have missed so much. It is great that you gave up the cigs, and I know you will get there with food and your weight loss, as you have proven in the past. Much love to you and all my family up North! ❤

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