#reverb14 Day Eight: Connection

The hectic pace of our lives can make it difficult to remain connected

to the things and the people that matter the most to us.

We get wrapped up in our work or our busyness and connection falls by the wayside.

How have you created and/or sustained connections in your life this year?

For me, my family comes first and it likely always will.  When I was in the two-year relationship with DSB, I didn’t see much of my family.  He wanted me to make him my priority.  To throw away my family and just be with him.  Getting DSB out of my life in April of this year, I learned an extremely valuable lesson.  To please him, I had in many ways forsaken my family.  I stopped going over to Mom’s, I didn’t talk with my sister as much, I barely saw Dad, and wouldn’t let anyone (except Mom) into the house.  Never again.  My family is too important to me to let that happen again.  So when DSB and I disconnected, it was time to reconnect with family, and what a year for that this has been.

I have never been closer to my sister, Ab.  We talk regularly, sometimes three or four or even five times a week.  We text, we email, we  call each other.  She always stops by to see me when she is in town with Kyle and Baby O, even if it’s just for a few minutes.  We make plans for me to come hop and visit more often.  Ab is likely one of the busier people I know, but she always makes time for me, no matter what the situation.

Dad and I have developed a special bond this year, as well.  With Mom’s attentions needed more on the divorce and the business and her own life as she knows it, Dad has stepped up and become a primary support player.  He is always happy to take me to an appointment and has been there through the up and down of bipolar disorder, including a hospitalization and several major depressive episodes, with some mixed and mania thrown in.  We talk at least once a day, usually more, and we get together three to four times a week.  I grew up with Dad being a parent in absentia and now he is fully (and happily) present in my life.

Mom and I have always been close and we remain so even with the chaos and drama going on in our neck of the woods right now.  If I could say one of the things I am most happy for this year, is that I have (mostly) been in a place where I could offer her support instead of always just taking support.  Not to say I don’t need my Madre, because I do, but it’s just nice to be able to help, as well as be helped.

Over the past year, since NaBloPoMo 2013, actually, I have developed many blog friendships and now have a good number of people I consider as a friend.  Additionally, I have made a few extra special friendships and I would have to say that I consider these women to be the closest friends I have ever had, offline or online.  The beauty of becoming friends with a blogger you admire is that you generally have an overwhelming amount in common, and so there is much to talk about.

So connecting, reconnecting, strengthening connections — YES, check!

Text, phone, email, messaging, in person, send a carrier pigeon — YES, these all work… and must be used… the key to connecting IS communication!

Just Message Me!

Pick Me Up

Daily Post Prompt:

What is the one word or phrase that immediately cheers you up when you hear it?

The last two years have left me extremely isolated.  I find myself with a few blog friends, and family.  Now, they’re all amazing people, and now I  have more time to spend with them…talking, chatting, texting, emailing.  There’s just more.

My favorite phrase is:

New message!

or

New email!

I don’t think the people I am friends with, nor my family realize how much just a text or an email can make my day.  I mean, it can literally turn it around, especially here lately.

I have been trying to reach out more, but at the same time not wanting to reach out too much and seem needy.  But now there are no restrictions on me, and I am starving for even a little bit of attention.  Even a “hey, how’s your day going?” is going to spark a long response from me.

I’m sure that can get annoying, and I know friends and family are sick to death of me talking about DSB, but it’s where my head’s at right now.  I’m trying to move on, but  you can’t resolve two years in a week’s time.

I am not trying to say that my family and friends are not paying me enough attention.  What I’m trying to say is that, any communication, is cherished and changes my day.  My mom might text me to pick up some rice for Cinco de Mayo (which was one of the best meals I’d had in a long time, Madre), and I appreciate her doing that perhaps over the top because there is a part of me that feels so very alone.

It’s hard to go from living your life with someone who is always around and always right on top of you, to being, well, free.  That lack of attention, even if it was negative attention, is noticeable, palpable.  My parents are doing a great job of including me and making sure I don’t have too much alone time, but there is only so much they can do.

Most of this, I just need to get through.  I need to settle down into being alone and get into a routine.  I know that.  But while I’m doing that, I’m still going to jump for joy at every new text message, every new email, every new call.  Probably for awhile, would be my guess.