Ten Things of “Keepin’ It Sane” Thankful

10thankful-bannerWe all have our little tricks that keep us going in the worst of times.  I choose to use this Ten Things of Thankful to highlight the ten things that keep me sane which I am most thankful for.  Don’t forget to go check out Lizzi at Considerings, the originator of this little blog hop, and to link your own at the end of her page.

Sometimes a little gratitude list (even if its for the really, really small stuff) can bring about a big positive change in your attitude.  I try to do this blog hop once a week, (which is also perfect because then I don’t have to think too hard about what to write about), but the reason I do it over and over, is simple…it WORKS for me.

  1. Unlikely, but included nonetheless, super-heavy-duty ponytail holders save my sanity every time.  There is nothing worse than having whispies or big chunks of hair touching your face all day.  (and yes, when I said touching, I put my fingers up in the air and wiggled)  I know I am not alone in having hair that can drive one straight up the wall, although I admit that it’s a bit strange to be my number one item on this list, but I have taken down and put my hair up about nine times today.  The long hair struggle…it is real, y’all!
  2. indigo-wild-zum-body-0091_8(1)Anything lavender-scented.  My current favorite is a lavender-lilac candle my dad bought me,and I would swear to you that using the lavender lotion by Zum can sometimes be about the only thing that will calm my raging anxiety.  Or at least that was the case yesterday.  Heaven knows it will be something else tomorrow.
  3. Kizzie.  Kizzie belly rubs and Kizzie kisses and Kizzie barking happily at me and feeding Kizzie treats and Kizzie, Kizzie, Kizzie.  If she wasn’t so wild, she could be a certified therapy dog, but she is my therapy dog, so that is what matters.  She knows when I am sad and when I am anxious and plants herself in my lap.  She licks my tears away, and will lay calmly at my feet through almost anything.  I really don’t know what I would do without her at times.Kizzie4.  And Kizzie leads straight into Lucy, the standard poodle that I have opened Lucyour home to, who used to live with my mom.  She is so darn happy here, it’s amazing — she and Kizzie play and leap around like puppies half the time.  With the addition of a little carprofen (which I am also grateful for), her arthritis is kept at a minimum and she can focus on being the Princess that she truly is.

5.  That I have managed to actually blog a few times this week.  It has been cathartic and freeing and enjoyable and lovely to interact again.  I hope I can keep that stuck in my head and repeat over and over.

6.  5-Things-New-Bloggers-Can-ReTeach-You-www.lovethehereandnow.com_-800x533Fairly related, I have found several new bloggers that I am excited to follow.  I hadn’t added a new blogger to follow in a really long time, but some super awesome people have stopped by this ol’ place and I am excited to put time and effort into it, like I used to.



7.  The fact that LarBear and I both believe in buying the actual CD of an artist’s music.  We buy ours mostly from Amazon, and have found some real winners lately with Chris Stapleton, Old Dominion, Cam, Keb Mo, Jana Kramer, and Kacey Musgraves.  Just Google, you will find…they are all spectactular!  And seeing as music is one of the main things that calms me down, I just consider that we are buying cheap therapy.

8.  It’s that time for the Interpersonal Effectiveness Tool, “FAST”, to rear it’s head and I am READY.  I have several situations where I do not want to over-apologize, where it is important for me to get across my point of view without losing my self-respect.  I have already tried it out a few times, but I am building up to a really big FAST that will be unveiled soon.

9.  I am thankful that I have reasonable insurance and that medications are filled as they should be and I can get in to see my treaters when need be.

10.  I am thankful for friends who are only an email away, who never give up on me even when I have been gone for a really long time, and who I can start BS’ing with just like old times the moment I am back in the picture.  Thank you.




Ten Things of Thankful: The BIG Ones

Sometimes I get so caught up with what is in my head, what nonsense is spinning and scrambling and screaming at me.  As a wise woman said to me not too many hours ago, after I had thrown my temper tantrum and had my pity party, not everyone’s reality is the same.  And that is just so true — true enough that it struck me right in the heart, but I didn’t feel it lodged there until hours later.  So, that wise woman, and then the very special friend that messaged me, having a hard time, and completely brought me out of my own bullshit problem:  Thank you, both.

Thank you for making me remember that I have more blessings in my life than I am ever grateful for.  Thank you for bringing me back to myself and making me realize that wow, things are not just “ok” — they’re actually pretty darned great.  Without the wise woman’s words, and the special friend’s typing-back-and-forth to me, I would probably still be sitting here and listening to my sad music and crying and feeling sorry for myself.  Instead, I feel as if I have had a real “a-ha!” moment.


  1.  I am thankful for the basics, the things I take for granted every day — a warm home; enough food to more than feed myself, LarBear, and the dogs; working transportation; the basics of life that so many people have to worry about, which I do not.
  2. I’m grateful for LarBear, for our relationship, for him not giving up on me so many times when I have been whacked-out-symptomatic, for always giving more of himself than I think is possible, for always making me feel safe, secure, loved.
  3. For three parental figures who have been there, and continue to be there, for me no matter what the issue is.  Maybe I don’t always get exactly as much of your time or love as I would want, but I have never wanted for anything, and I know that when it comes down to it, you would be there with bells on if it really, really mattered to me.
  4. For the Kizzer dog, who has brought more joy to my life than I ever would have thought possible, and for Lucy Lou who joined the party more recently, but is just as loved.
  5. For a truly remarkable psychiatrist and mental health team, in general.  In addition, I have a wonderful medical primary care provider and good access to hospitals and urgent care.
  6. I am thankful for friends, online and not, that constantly keep me entertained, laughing, and sometimes cry with me.
  7. For the best DBT group I have ever been in, for all my years of doing DBT.  It has never made more sense, and I have never felt closer to another group of people other than my family.
  8. For my sister — for being who she is, for making time to call and text when she can, and always supporting me with her expertise when I am trying to exercise without breaking a foot or harming myself otherwise.
  9. For good books, and for an excellent library that keeps my Kindle full.
  10. For an ever-growing music library, thanks to LarBear


Building a Life Worth Living, Week Three

life worth living


To sum it up (once again), building a life worth living is a concept from DBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  When we are miserable, we aren’t concerned about our quality of life.  As we strive to get better, we start to care and we start to notice our actions that lead us to that better quality.  This series will become a challenge anyone can join, with an official kickoff in the next week or two.  Of course, if  you’re feeling froggy, jump and do it now — just pingback to this post.

1) I was able to see my sister and Baby O today.  An early birthday present, call it what you want.  It made my whole month.

2) A little bonfire at the HH with QoB and the Big Dawg.  Sometimes very few words are needed.

3) The realization that the majority of 2014 has been utterly yucky for me.  The following realization that I am still standing with most of my mental health intact.

4) Taking the pressure off Sister Sara and taking one for the team, feeding Dad’s cat while they are on vacation for a couple days.  True and unexpected appreciation is always welcome.

5) My niece, Little E, turned three today.  When Sister Sara was pregnant with her, I was so disappointed she wasn’t born on my birthday.  Sooo close.  Feeling very grateful to be a bigger part of her life.

6) Making plans to see a good friend next Sunday.  Yes, I have friends.  It is freaking awesome.

7) Talking to Goddess of Mindfulness on the phone.  Sometimes you just need to let it all out there, and it is so helpful to have someone on the other end of the line, letting you know that  your feelings are valid.

8) Chatting with my buddies on the Interwebs, feeling like I gave a couple pieces of good advice, and unfortunately, also like I must buy frozen pizza next time I am at the grocery store.

9) Coming up on the Big 33 and realizing there are many good people in my life, and they love me, and I love all of them.

10) Getting the banner Mental Mama made for this series to fit ALL the way across the page.  Always getting a thrill from figuring out something techie.

Ten Things of Thankful, Fourth Edition

It’s the end of another week, and it’s time to link up with Liz at Considerings, among others, and shout-out what has made you thankful this week.  This link-up is one of my favorites, because it usually makes me feel like I just gave myself a really big hug.



1) I am thankful for Easter.  For the chocolate, the jelly beans, the scrape-it-together dinner DSB and I are having.  I’m thankful I’ll get to see my mom for a couple hours and I’m thankful I had a nice chat with my dad this morning.  I’m thankful for the Easter pictures of my nephew and I am thankful that DSB is home for the holiday.  Yay for Easter!



2)  I am thankful for my Crock-Pot.  So many a harried evening has been saved by the Crock-Pot.  Feeling a little lazy?  Throw something in the Crock-Pot.  Going to have a crazy day?  Throw something in the Crock-Pot.  Chicken that thawed three days ago and needs to be cooked?  Throw it in the Crock-Pot.  Tonight’s Easter dinner is featuring frozen chicken quarters cooked in the (yes) Crock-Pot, which will then be shredded and sauteed with a BBQ sauce and Italian dressing mixture.  Quite tasty.  And convenient!

This is the exact crock-pot I have, color and all.  I also have a slightly smaller, rounder black one.

This is the exact crock-pot I have, color and all. I also have a slightly smaller, rounder black one.


3)  I am thankful for my Nalgene.  I may have posted that on TToT before, but it has been a huge money and thirst-saver for me.  I have always drank a lot of water, but I would also frequently indulge in Sonic drinks, or Taco Bell Happy Hour slushes, you get the point.  That money added up, and I was still always left feeling thirsty.  I now  have a Nalgene (that my mom bought the special cap for…woot woot, Mom!) and I love it.  It is a 48 oz and I drink three or four, sometimes five of these a day.  I love water, as long as it has ice!

Mine is that color blue, but much larger, and with a drink-easy cap.

Mine is that color blue, but much larger, and with a drink-easy cap.


4)  I am thankful for Mom helping me get some summer clothes.  I like to be able to show up to work and look clean and put-together and (at least somewhat) cute.  She makes that happen every year, and just this past week she picked me up a few things that were very cute (and fit!).  I appreciate her doing this so much — I am not a good clothes shopper!


5) Related to number four, I am thankful that I realized yesterday, while at work, that I really AM kinda cute.  I’m a big girl, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be attractive.  I had one of my new outfits on, and I caught a glimpse of my reflection, and was like, really?  That’s not so bad!  Actually half-decent!  I just hope I can hold onto that thought/feeling for awhile.

images (1)


6) I am thankful that I deleted the first TToT I wrote today.  I was tired, I wasn’t in a good place, and I was forcing it.  Now I feel the words flowing, am finding great pictures, and feel like this is more “me.”  I almost decided not to do TToT today, because of that first go-round.  Now I’m glad I did.  Here’s to not giving up on yourself.  Hear, hear!

something good every day


7)  I am thankful for Mom helping me get the house cleaned up before DSB came home.  She is such a trooper and a great motivator.  I wish I had 1/2 her energy and stamina.  She is in the latter part of her fifties and can outwork most 20ish men.  I know that because I see it happen on a daily basis in the store.  She is very generous with her time in helping me, and in giving me a kick in the ass when I really need to get something done.  Love you, Madre!  xoxo



8)  I am thankful I am sleeping again, but wonder how much longer until I will be caught up.  I am thankful for the sleepiness and the resting, because missing a week’s sleep could have swung the other direction.  Am I actually having a normal reaction to not getting enough sleep?  Oh my!



9)  I am thankful for Dollar General, where it seems you can always find that one ingredient you were  missing, without having to go to the actual grocery store.  Also, the milk is always fresh!



10)  I am thankful last, but not least, to the amazing people who read this blog, comment, like, even those who don’t comment and don’t like.  I know you’re out there.  Within the next three or four days, I should hit 1,000 follows.  Never imagined I’d make it that far!

images (2)




Now hurry up, get your TToT done, and link-up over at Considerings!

Ten Things of Thankful, Third Edition

Today’s Top Ten was inspired by the following:

keep on

Yesterday’s post (which was read by I think, four people and didn’t even receive a like, not that I’m bitter or the low number freaks me out or anything) was all about never giving up, with a second half that sprawled out into the wide world of why it’s not good to lie.  I know, totally random.  It was one of those kind of days.

But, like Joe Dirt, in my opinion the funniest and most heartwarming David Spade movie to date, Joe keeps keeping on.  Just like I’m keeping on, through so much good stuff that it outweighs the bad.  In some ways it’s hard to keep keepin’ on right now, because DSB is in such a bad place.  I feel like I don’t have my partner, like some of the oxygen in my air has been sucked out, like things are just a little bit like a tilt-a-whirl at the carnival and my little seat keeps going round and round as the bigger platform gyrates up and down.

You get the point.

1) I am thankful for giant beach towels.  Kizzie is hiding under one spread across my legs as I sit here and type this.  She is terrified of rain and thunder.  DSB is in bed already and apparently Kizzie was not successful in getting tucked  under the blanket.  It’s kind of nice to me, because these days she usually runs to him when she’s scared.  It’s a good feeling to be her protector every now and again.

2) I am thankful for blog posts in which I make no sense at all.  It keeps me humble and reminds me that I should never write a book, as much as it might be encouraged.  I feel sad when there isn’t even a single like on a post, and maybe one comment.  I mean, I get it.  I don’t read and like and comment on every single thing that I read, but I do on a lot.  It’s one of those things that just is.  People like the damndest things that I write, and then skip over some that I think are pretty good.  Whatev.  I’m not in it for the money or the fame and glory.  I’m in it because I genuinely like doing it, even if it’s only for my own sake and the only person that reads it is my mom and therapist.


I know, Mom.  I know!

3) I am above and beyond thankful for my Kindle.  I was never one of those people who said, “oooohhh, but I LOVE real books.  The paper and the smell and the blah blah blah.”  I had to have one from the moment they came out and took off.  I’m on my second now, a Kindle PaperWhite and I love love love it!  I love being able to download books from my county library for free (just like with a real book, I know), I love $1.99 specials and 50 books under $3.99 and big credits on my account when the publishing firms screw up and lawyers decide they owe the readers money.  I love not  having big dusty bookshelves and accidentally tearing pages and dogs chewing them to shreds.  I can’t think of one single thing I don’t like about my Kindle.  Bury me with it.

from Amazon.  I have the pink case.  :D

from Amazon. I have the pink case. 😀

4) On a related note, I am thankful that Dean Koontz just keeps on writing.  That man can write like nobody’s business, and he’s just a-churnin’ ’em out!  I am currently working my way through the “Odd” series.  I had already read the first three some time ago, like when they came out, but much to my delight, I found out there were several more and my library carries ALL of them in their ebook library.  Can a girl ever get more lucky than that?

5) I am thankful for the ability to run the air conditioner in my car with the windows down.  This may sound silly, but sometimes it’s hot, but the breeze feels nice.  It’s probably all sorts of wasteful and I’m probably going to get an email from my mom or a lecture from my dad on how hard that is on a car’s system, but I’ll take my moment where I can get it.  It’s not like I do it all the time, all right?

6) I am thankful that Blue Bell ice cream pints were on sale today when I went to Walgreen’s to pick up some cough medicine for DSB.  And they had mint chocolate chip, which just made my whole damn day.  I find that, when your food budget is extremely limited, you don’t get a whole lot of chances to eat ice cream or cookies or chocolate.  Because that stuff is expensive!  But so is broccoli.  Go figure.

7) With all the ongoing anxiety (all related to DSB’s health and welfare), I have been having a hard time falling asleep.  I saw my psychiatrist early this week and he prescribed Sonata.  Of course, there was a prior authorization from my insurance required, so I managed to get it by yesterday evening.  Let’s just say that I am thankful for Sonata, because I fell right to sleep.  I did, however, wake up and put my shorts on inside-out.  Do not know if the two are related.

via Walgreen's

via Walgreen’s

8) I am thankful most of all this week, for prayers, kind thoughts, candles lit, dances danced, and so on for DSB and hope for recovery from ill health.  Not quite sure what’s wrong at the moment, other than he is extremely short of breath and is coughing.  And running a fever.  And having pain in his chest.  He assures me he is not having a heart attack, and since this has been going on a week, I presume he is correct.  My fear is that his blood clots are back somewhere and his thought is that he has a cold which may or may not have turned into pneumonia.  I am very scared at this point, because it just seems like health problem after health problem and he can’t function properly.  It really has him depressed, too.  And there’s nothing I can do, unfortunately other than making sure he stays hydrated and gets up and walks around once in awhile (to prevent more clots).  And nagging him to see a doctor.  So, if you’re reading, and you’re any kind of spiritual, send a shout out to the Universe that DSB recovers soon.  I feel like one of my legs is missing.


9)  I am thankful for having a working car.  I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be without personal transportation.  Sure, there’s public transportation here, but it’s in the city.  And from what I hear, it’s less than ideal.  Maybe in a big city I would be okay without a car, but I have so many appointments (and so does DSB), that I think it would be a real hassle.  So, I am feeling very fortunate.


10) I am thankful I am not addicted to Facebook anymore.  I don’t know if it’s just the “friends” I have, but there is so much negativity and drama.  I opened it up for a little while about an hour ago to check on something on my parents’ business’ site, but jeez.  It’s terrible and horrible.  Maybe it’s just me and I need to develop a tougher skin.  Whatever the case may be, I’m seriously considering deleting my account.


I couldn’t find one with a “thumbs down,” which is what I really wanted. 😦

And that’s the long and short of it.  This is a really fun post to do, and you have through Sunday to get ‘er done for the link-up, which you can find at Considerings.

100 Followers and Happy (Almost) Birthday

So, it’s only taken me a few years to gain 100 followers, and, ya know, the old Rose would be very bothered by that, but the new Rose thinks it’s kind of funny.  I started this blog, hoping to wildly popular, like Dooce, or something.  Since then, it’s evolved more into a tool I use to process and bring about clarity and better mental health.  So while I am thankful for my 100 followers, I’m not going to try and figure all that out, I’m going to just keep rolling with what I do.

I will be the big 3-2 in exactly 56 minutes.  32 feels much older than 31, but maybe I’m just feeling wiser.  I know a lot of good things have happened and great progress been made in year 31 of the Rose.  I have high hopes for 32, as well.

I celebrated my birthday with my family tonight.  My sister even drove in from the big city, which is a BFD, because she is busy and super special and pregnant, to top it all off.  It made my whole month to see her and know that she was showing up just to make my day a little more special.  And she makes an awesome carrot cake.  Just a bonus, ya know.

I’m not sure what my actual birthday has in store for me, other than hopefully French toast that I have aggressively been hinting around to DSB about.  Including buying syrup and making sure we have plenty of bread and eggs.  He’d better take the hint.  It would also be nice if there was coffee made when I got up, but that might be pushing it.

I plan to swim in my new pool and float around on the raft my sister gave me for my birthday.  I also plan to clean up my dining room and kitchen because, well, they’re nasty and, even though it’s my birthday, no one else is gonna do it.  Just facing facts here.

I am currently enjoying a new Yankee candle in my favorite scent, Lilac, given by my Dad and his wife on Thursday at that birthday celebration. I’m also celebrating the fact that Dad put another $100 on my Amazon account so I can keep on reading like a fiend.

I feel very lucky approaching year 32 that I still have amazing parents who are in good health, a precious sister and brother-in-law who will make me an aunt soon (mid-January), and I, of course, am grateful for DSB…and my pups, duh.  My life would be meaningless without these people and without this love.  I’m glad I realize that now.  Here’s to better living through chemistry!