Ten Things of Thankful: People, Places, Things

Ten Things of Thankful

After a busy weekend, I realized I had missed TToT for a couple weeks, and was so grateful (#1!) to find that the linkup is open until Tuesday.  If you enjoy these posts, I would highly encourage you to join in with those who are thankful.  More information can be found at the TToT website, here.

I have missed blogging over the last month or so, but have found that I have relatively little to say.  I am thankful (#2!) to be back to it today.  Blogging, for me, is like a comfy old sweater that you find at the back of the closet.  I don’t realize how much I miss the comfort of it until I do it again.

The Mother’s Day service at my new church was really amazing.  I am eternally grateful to my friend, Marla, for getting me back in the swing of going (#3!).  It is a smaller church, not anything fancy or pretentious, and the pastor has delivered a wonderful, easy-to-understand message each and every service I have been to.

Since this week’s theme was Mother’s Day, he talked about the gifts we should be giving our mothers.  The gifts of acceptance, of appreciation, and of affirmation.  He said he knew of many people who were still blaming the issues of their lives on parents long into their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and how freeing it could be to give these gifts to one’s mother,  no matter the relationship.  I have a pretty decent relationship with my mom, but was grateful (#4!) for this message, because it told me that God really wants me to accept her even more fully, appreciate her beyond the mundane, and use affirmation to build her up at any turn, no matter the situation.  I was so moved during the service, that I shed tears, and I was truly touched, thinking of my mother and my life, and I how I can do better and not blame her for things beyond her control.  As the pastor said, “You didn’t choose your mother, but she didn’t choose you either.”  That really rang true for me and I was grateful to hear it (#5!).

Although a bit redundant, I  must give thanks again (#6) for the LarBear, for being my rock, for being my everything, for always being there.  Mother’s Day is a difficult time for me, as I struggle with my own choices long ago not to have children, and I see what a positive impact so many women are making in the lives of their children.  Facebook was particularly hard to look at this weekend, but while I am sad and lonely and regretful about never having children, I am also thankful (#7!) that I have never brought a human into this world that I wasn’t fully able to take care of.  Some people were meant to be aunts, and dog moms, and that is enough for me.  It is hard to swallow sometimes, but I am grateful for the decision.

And in no particular order, to close out the post, I am thankful for:

8.  Instagram and the wonderful people, beautiful and meaningful pictures and posts, and the ability to interact more with my sister through it.

9.  The birthday that keeps on giving, LarBear and I are booked for a two-night trip starting next week to the Kansas Cosmosphere, and we are thrilled!

10.  The confidence I have found in crafting, where if I see it, I now believe I can do it, and I DO THE THINGS.  Thank heavens for a creative mind.

Re-purposing a spiral-bound day calendar into something pretty and funky for the desk. Who doesn’t like peacocks?!

Breaking the Habit — Talking About Joy and Gratitude

joys

RANDOM GRATITUDE LIST

1) The youthful exuberance brought to my two best friends by increasing exercise and having a companion.  The barking DOES get a bit obsessive, though.

2) 2014 is almost over and I have not been in the hospital since the summer, although it is likely a few times I should have gone.

3) Deciding to rededicate myself to meditation and mindfulness.

4) Making concrete plans and seeking medical advice to lose weight in 2015.

5) Becoming more serious about the few things in my life that I can pinpoint as activities that really DO matter in the overall scheme of things.  Must, however, find more of these things.

6) Making a conscious decision not to lose sleep over things I can’t change.  You have to turn that over in your mind again and again.

7) Being brave enough to reach out to people I am at odds with.

8) Better place to blog and do other computer tasks.

9) New-to-me car to replace the PT Cruiser I totaled a month ago (not my fault, was struck by a driver not yielding to a stop sign).  The new car is a bright blue 2006 Chevy HHR and it is CUTE and fun to drive.  And if anyone needs help hauling a dead body, it also has a huge cargo space.

10) Feeling a certainty that I can make my life better, regardless of the status of the lives around me.

Question of the day…

Do you think you are addicted to talking about your problems?  Sometimes a little thankfulness goes a long way!

PS to my wonderful readers — turns out as I  publish this, it notifies me this is post 590.  600 posts seems HUGE!  I will bring cookies, someone grab a bunch of egg nog.  🙂


 

Dark-thirty AM Gratitude — TToT

 

Found on tabletonic.blogspot.com

Found on tabletonic.blogspot.com

It has been awhile since I have participated in TToT.  It just seemed like the weekend always just slipped by me as I put it off again and again.  It occurred to me yesterday that the gratitude list that is TToT has always helped me immensely, as during rough times it is important to sit back and try and pinpoint the good in things, even as your mind is churning with the bad.  There of course some repeats that continue on from past TToT’s, but I am considering it a good thing that some of the positives in my life are static, no matter what hell is going on.

1). What started out easy has become really, truly difficult.  I am talking about quitting smoking, of course.  I have had a few relapses, I am sad to say.  Nothing has been permanent, but still.  I am thankful, though, that I keep on trucking even after I do slip up.

2). Secondary to the feeling good about trying to quit, is the ever-magical Atomic Fireball jawbreaker.  I have been going through these things like crazy and find they are what is best when I am having a strong craving.

3) I am grateful that (without smoking), I had enough money to open an Audible account.  I am really excited about the possibilities for audio books.

4). Related, my dad and I are going to start listening to books together and then have our own little book club.  We started Stephen King’s novel about a man going back in time to save JFK and it is really interesting and well-read.  Even Dad is liking it, and it is really not his normal kind of book.  Thanks to Marilyn at teepee12.wordpress.com for the great recommendation!

5) Speaking of Marilyn, and a few others out there, I have THE best, hands-down online friends one could ask for.  Ranging from an acquaintance to a BFF I talk to every day — even when I feel really all alone, I can hop online and then I am not.

6). It sounds like perhaps the Big Dawg isn’t going to move too far away, after all.  That in itself is anxiety reducing.  What I am saddest about it losing my family.,

7). I am thankful for my mom for so many things. She has been staying with me during the time leading up the divorce, and while there is no extra burden, I am just happy I can help.  A big plus is having her help around the house and just having someone to talk to.  And I think between the cleaning and the Kizz and the mouse traps, headway is finally beings made on the mousie infestation.  Thank heavens for that!

8). Kizzie once again also being celebrated — you just can’t stay too sad if you are playing with her or petting her or having her sit on your lap.  Dogs truly do heal the spirit, I believe.  And Kizzie is a very special dog.

9). I am thankful my writer’s block is over (knock on wood!) and it feels really good to be out in the blogosphere again.  I am especially grateful to anyone still reading, as I know those unannounced leave of absences can be annoying.

10) I am glad I have my Surface, especially since my laptop just shot craps.  I am getting used to the keyboard and touch screen, ever so slowly.  Thank you, my green friend out there, for introducing me to Surface.  🙂

To do the linkup (and you totally should) write your gratitude list, tag Lizzy, and put the link to your post in the linky-up-thingie.,  Hope you have all had a week wherein 10 things of thankful can be found

Ten Things of Thankful, Turn-it-Around Edition

This past week has been one of true growth, new realizations, (somewhat) painful lessons, and most of all, a focus on turning it around.  Turn around my perspective on health, both mental and physical, and revitalize and begin to use DBT skills again, like mindfulness, meditation, and willingness.  I am pretty sure I can easily bang a TToT out of the past week’s events.

1) Began meditating on a regular basis again, remembering that, for me, the easiest and most gratifying meditation is any form of the Loving-Kindness.

2) Turning away from wilfulness and embracing willingness.  Making the committment to be more open, to people and change.

3) Baby O still just rules my world.  His momma keeps me in pictures and I am basically getting to see him grow up everyday even though I can’t actually be there every day.  Everything about that little boy is so right and he has motivated me to do so much!

4) So what has Baby O motivated me to do?  Well, he is one of the many reasons that I quit smoking on September 13th.  I have hung in strong, and I have motivation from a lot of other places as well, mostly my health.  I know it’s not a “big deal” till you’ve done it for awhile, but I am proud that  I have not smoked for:

One week, 10 hours, 14 minutes and 21 seconds. 445 cigarettes not smoked, saving $60.15. Life saved: 1 day, 13 hours, 5 minutes.

5) Making a decision to not get mired in feeling sick.  Yes, I feel sick, but there must be something I can get up and do, even if it seems small and insignificant.  Then, if you might feel halfway decent, you slowly add another task and another over a course of a few days, and the to-do list that has been rotting  away in your hand, can be thrown away.  It is totally true that a body at rest will stay at rest, and a body in motion stays in motion.  I “get” that saying now.

6) My realization that a “family member” did not have my best interests at heart, and cutting that relationship out of my life.

7) Having grown to the point where I don’t have to spread juicy gossip, really don’t even WANT to.

8) Mom found a bunch of really cute clips for my shorter hair (with bangs…ugh).  I think this will all be workable in the end.

9) It is amazing the things that you find your postal mailbox.   No, not EVERYTHING gets emailed or texted.  🙂

10) The biggest thanks to old and new readers that were supportive this week I restarted blogging.  I realize some of it is absolute drivel, but like Marilyn says, it keeps getting better as you keep going (I paraphrase).

Now it’s your turn to head out to the TToT link-up with Liz over at Considerings.   If you don’t feel like writing a top 10, consider a top 5 or a top 3.  Or just go check out all the other crazy writers on this train!

Five Things of Thankful — Domestic Goddess Edition

As you may or may not have noticed, I am still down with the same bug that was plagueing me last week.  I pondered doing a Ten Things of Thankful — SickiePoo Version 2.0, but I just didn’t feel too inspired about it.  It had been pretty much the same ol’ week and I was pretty much grateful for the same things.

Before I went inpatient at our local psych hospital, my sister and Mom had helped me do a big deep-cleaning a my house.  Kinda airing out the bad DSB spirits (and smells), if you will.  When I was released from the hospital, I was very serious about keeping it clean and did so.  The first few days I was sick, I didn’t care.  About four days in, I started to care.  I mean REALLY care.

Who has more time to look at dirt or grime or goo than a sick person?  A trip from the computer room to the back bedroom takes you through the kitchen and living room, and right past the bathroom.  And you’re walking very slowly, trying to keep your balance and (some) of your dignity.  You see it all.  And if you’re like me and sit very still for long periods of time, trying not to be sick, you see even more.

So I started cleaning, bit by bit.  Doing this and that.  Today I did even more; not because I felt better, but because I’m going maddeningly stir crazy.  It occured to me that this week, there have been some Domestic Goddess products and appliances that I have greatly appreciated over the last 10 or so days.  I thought that, well, since I’m still being thankful and, well, it does still cover a week, that it would be okay if I put my own little spin on it.  Considering that I wrote a short novel for the intro (brain wander much?), I’ll keep the list short (only five…I feel like crap, people!) and to the point.

1) I am immensely grateful for paper towels.  This week they have been used to mop up spilled drinks, clean bathrooms, and blow my nose.  They have also been there for me during meal times when I heat my Ramen too hot.  I have always loved paper towels, much to the chagrin of green family members and friends, but there is so much to love!  I could probably do a post about the greatness of paper towels.  (Don’t worry, I won’t!)

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Obviously, I would LIKE to give a shout-out to toilet paper next, but that’s not really related to this post.  SO, it’s not getting it’s own number, but HOORAY for good TP!

2) I am generally partial to 409, when it comes to serious anti-bacterial scrubbing, but my sister brought this (and left it here!) and it is by far the very best all-purpose antibacterial cleaner.  It takes greasy handprints off walls (thanks, DSB, the welder), spiffies up bathrooms in a hurry, and it doesn’t have a super over-powering scent.  We used almost this whole bottle in that one day, forsaking the loads of other cleaners we could have used.  This is the cleaner I have been using in my bathroom all week, so that if a non-sickie person went in there, they might have a smaller chance of ending up sickie.508240_s7

 

 

3 &4) I am probably always going to be most thankful for my dishwasher.  There is nothing like having a trashed out kitchen and being able to get it totally sparkling with not a dish or papertowel in sight, if you only have a dishwasher and a trashcan.  I’ve got both!  The bonus is that the dishes come out super-clean and you (usually) don’t have to worry about stuff left sticking to the glasses.  I use this fantastic product (in addition to detergent), because I have very hard water.  Works like a dream!

product_lemishine_concentrated_306x295

5) Probably my most favorite Domestic Goddess tool is none other than the Kizzer dog.  She is great about cleaning up small messes, eating the  last bite of the banana, knowing when it’s time for a bone, jumping all over my dad (he hates dogs), and mostly just keeping me company.  I know that doesn’t qualify her as a cleaning product, persay, but she keeps me sane, and if were to not be sane, I probably wouldn’t be cleaning.  Amen to that.

KIZZ

 

Ten Things of Thankful, Numero Cinco

Anxiety is so unreasonable, at times.  It didn’t want me to post today, but here I am, with a little help from my first two TToT.  Anxiety doesn’t have to win every time.

So:

1) I am thankful first of all for

Israel ‘IZ’ Kamakawiwo’ole

for providing the world with a little happiness in the form of this video:

RIP IZ.  The beauty and simplicity of music was not lost on you, buddy.

 

2)  I am thankful for finding this Dr. Seuss photo quote while attempting to burn off anxiety, pre-post:

Dr-Seuss-Quotes-random-33706483-500-367

 

 

3) The Dr. Seuss photo quote reminds me of all the books Mom used to read to us growing up, and then, as we grew up, that we read to her.  We were reading fools growing up.  I remember carting huge stacks of books home from the library and devouring each one.  To this day, myself, my sister, and my mom are all voracious readers.  I honestly don’t think there is any greater or more life-changing gift you can give your child than the love of reading.  Thank you for that, Madre.  xoxo

teaching-reading-6-500x333

 

 

4) On a related note, I am thankful to Shel Silverstein for bringing awesome books that were funny and ALSO meant something to young people all over.  The man was a true literary genius, and if you have kids, they should

be reading these books.  A couple of my favorites follow:

 

ev light wherethesidewalk-jpg

 

 

5)  I am thankful for free farm-fresh eggs (thanks Mom and Big Dawg!).  You can do so much with an egg, the possibilities are almost endless.  Check out some great ideas here.  We do a lot of scrambles with sausage or bacon and potatoes for dinner, egg salad, and the ever-popular egg sandwich on toast.  Leave your favorite way to eat an egg in the comments!

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6)  I am thankful for learning (ever so slowly) how to give up control and just let things be.  It is a constant practice, a continual embracing of willingness.

anxiety

 

7)  I am thankful for good health insurance.  Without it, I would be unmedicated and DSB would be mired in severe debt, or dead.  Likely dead, the way he refuses to go to the doctor when he DOES have insurance.  I don’t think Obamacare was the answer for everyone, but I personally know a lot of people it greatly helped.  Clearly, something is still broken when people are sick and can’t afford to go to the doctor, can’t afford the medicine to get well, the treatment to stay alive.  What kind of society, what kind of government casts people off like that?

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8)  I am thankful for the Regina Spektor Pandora Radio station that I created almost five years ago.  It has bloomed into something totally terrific.  There is almost never a repeat and so much more interesting and new music has piled in on the phone.  If you haven’t tried Pandora, I would highly suggest it.  Who could resist songs like this?

 

9)  I am thankful that getting into this post has almost totally resolved my anxiety.  I have been trying to work through it this past week without using Klonopin, as I felt like I was letting my DBT skills get rusty by not using them, and using the Klonopin instead.  So far, the results have been good.  I’m not saying I’m never taking Klonopin again, because I will, I’m sure — I just don’t want to rely on it as my first choice.

Clonazepammacro.preview

 

10) I’m lastly greatful for TToT.  I know it’s going to be there every week, and I look forward to it.  I like writing it and I like reading everyone else’s.  Feeling down and out?  Participate — writing gratitude lists should be part of everyone’s therapy homework.

You can link up to TToT over at Considerings.  She and the gang will be happy to come and give you a hello!