Wowza. I have not posted anything since Christmas Day, and I wasn’t really planning on taking a break, it just kinda happened. The tagline on this blog is “telling it like it is.” I have a few things I need to tell myself, keeping in the spirit of the tradition.
1) Klonopin will erase anxiety, but you’re supposed to use skills, too.
I have been having more than my fair share of anxious moments lately, and, really, I am a bit entitled. DSB just had major surgery, I’ve been jam-packing my days with this and that, and one month and one week later, quitting smoking is still not the easiest thing that I do. The smartest thing to do would be to use some self-soothe and sacred self skills, and while I have been trying, I also find myself lacking. I have been showering a good bit more, and even putting on lotion, but the food I put into my body is disgusting.
2) There is nothing about a messy kitchen that a trash can, dishwasher, pantry, and refrigerator can’t take care of within 15 minutes.
DSB has been doing some cooking lately, and it would be putting it nicely to say he makes a bit of a mess. Empty cans everywhere, flour, flour, flour all over the place, wet paper towels in the sink. You get the idea. Now that I have a dishwasher, I don’t mind so much, because it just GOES AWAY. And it’s easy. If you don’t have a dishwasher, you should get one, even if you cook fairly rarely. They are a treasure and don’t let anyone tell you different.
3) It’s ok to go to bed at 9:00pm if you are tired. It doesn’t mean you are old.
No, it means that I require 10 to 11 hours of sleep to function optimally. I don’t know if it’s the meds or the bipolar itself, but I can’t handle less than 10. It is really, really not pretty when the number dips below ten.
4) Ok, so you didn’t do a New Year’s post. Whoop-de-friggin-dah.
I read a few New Year’s posts, but to be honest, I mostly checked delete all and then emptied my trash. I don’t need to hear about someone else’s resolutions so that I can compare them to my personal goals (not resolutions) and feel bad about myself. I did appreciate a few Top Ten Books of 2013 posts, however. Keep those coming. In fact, anytime you read a good book, email me or post it in my comments section. I got the Kindle Paperwhite for Christmas and am just figuring out how to interface with my local library, and the results have been ahhhh-mazing.
5) No matter how tough it gets, I have a great support system.
I have a few people in my life that I can count on, time and time again, to drag me through the muck and get me up and running again. Those people know who they are, and hopefully know how much I appreciate them. DSB was whining on New Year’s Eve that 2013 had been a crap year. My exact words to him:
“My life is infinitesimally better with you in it. Every year will be a great year, and it will keep getting more and more so.”
And then I gave him a big wet sloppy kiss. And cried.