I Have A Plan

I vacillate between trying very hard to use DBT skills and basic coping skills and all of the “tools in my toolbox” and throwing my hands up in the air.

The Rosa of the past didn’t believe in recovery, and the Rosa of the current still isn’t sure about “recovery” from mental illness, in general.  Do I think things can get better, yes.  Do I think they can stay that way, not really.

After my therapy session yesterday, I have come away with a few goals.  Goals that the Rosa of before would not have meshed with.

They are, in no particular order:

1) Daily hygiene every day, plus a bonus if I can put on makeup and try to pretty myself up.

2) Sun lamp 30 minutes, two times a day.

3) More time out of the house, doing what, it really doesn’t matter.

4) Eventually get back to the pool.  The staph infection issue is ongoing, so I can’t do much about this right now.

5) Stop thinking about the zebras.  You know, the zebras, the constant and negative thoughts that come from the brain.  Try replacing the zebras with a giraffe, or an elephant, or maybe a cute teacup pig.

I have come to the conclusion that I can’t fret about my weight too much at this point, because it is clear that it will be an extra-supreme challenge in which I may or may not have to make serious decisions.  The plan is to continue eating right, with small meals, and try to increase fruit/veggie intake.

Above all else, I will continue to avoid negativity and will cut it out of any corner of my life in which it will be lurking.  This may mean cutting some people out of my life, but so be it.  I actually went through the million blogs I follow and unfollowed some that are simply always so negative without even a hint of positivity or solutions that may be found.  Bloggers that wrote all the time about things that were triggering to me were deleted, too.  I hope someday I can come back and read some of those, but I simply can’t right now.  Chances are, it’s not your blog I stopped following.  Most of those people don’t read me.

I am going to have to do something different with jewelry/crafting, and I’m not sure what that is, but I’ll think of something.  I don’t think I am going to meet the October 14th deadline of having pieces in for the holiday show, but at this point I think it is more than I can manage.

I may be starting an adaptive yoga group that my art therapist is trying to get together.  I am excited about that.  As in, yoga I can actually do, maybe seated at a chair or in some other fashion.  I really hope she is able to get some numbers together so I can start that.

Day by day, broken down into manageable chunks, I will get through Fall, Winter, Hell of Winter, Spring of Winter.  I will because I always do, and there is no point in giving up now.

Is My Gravatar Crooked?

I was thinking today about how people find my blog, and, alternately, how I find other peoples’ blogs.  I probably follow too many blogs — 242, to be exact.  Of course that is accumulated over several years, and many are now defunct.  Here lately I have been trying to find some new blogs to read, blogs that I really “get” and that are either funny, touching, or talk about something I believe is important.

I have my ultimate favorite blogs of the now; the blogs that I will read no matter how little time I have and no matter how long it takes me to get to it.  I have blogs I will frequently comment on, to blogs that I generally just hit the like button.  And then there are the blogs of the people I consider my friends, and I try to do my very, very best to always read and always leave a comment with content.

I have blogs that I will skip out on reading that day, due to not  having time or having a severe annoyance with the topic at hand (excuse me, I think it’s important, too, but I cannot read another single line of political commentary.  Although Greg Fallis did a quite hilarious one on Texas Republicans, in a fashion that only he can.).

I find that I tend to move within a “reading circle,” in that, on most posts that I am dropping by to say hello on, almost all of the Gravatars are the same, from blog to blog.  I’m not sure exactly how this happens — maybe it’s how some of my seemingly-random readers find me; don’t know.  What I do know is that it’s kind of fun to read along together, to comment along together, to grow along as a community together.

Sometimes I think people in the same reading group should really sit down and have a cup of virtual lemonade.   What brought us here, initially?  What else are we interested in?  Any new blogs to recommend?  And what are you READING?  Because, if you’re in a similar circle 0f blog readers, you are undoubtedly reading the same books and could likely save yourself a few dollars buying the latest best-seller-that-is-junk on Amazon.

I can more readily identify most bloggers by Gravatar than name.  I mean, that IS why there are Gravatars, I’m sure.  But sometime I wish I would make time to sit down and scout out my fellow reading circle’s blogs.  I think I would probably find a wealth of people with similar interests.  I know for a fact that I am looking for more mental health blogs to follow, and  have been somewhat out of luck there.  (That’s a hint for you to leave me recommendations in the comments!)

While I don’t have a perfect idea about  how to find other blogs, I have no ideas on how people find my blog.  I don’t get weird search terms.  I do get search terms from DBT, but not tons.  Readers seem to mysteriously come and go, and maybe that is just the way things go.  I think it’s altogether possible that some of my readers are spam, as they come by, follow, and never like or read (to my knowledge).

Maybe the Daily Prompt could do something on say,  how do readers come to your doorstep?  Then bunches of people could give their theories and maybe we would find the correct answer.  As you can see here, I’m all about finding the correct answer.

As my man Insights of a Bipolar Bear says, people don’t like to read over 600 words, so I’m shutting this brain down.  Don’t forget to leave your favorite mental health blogs in the comments!