Wordlessly Zen Wednesday

Pictures are all taken in QoB’s backyard.  After a hard day yesterday, I knew I needed to take a time-out and appreciate the world around me.  Along with an excellent mom-visit, I was able to enjoy sitting outside in her backyard oasis:




Before I know it, this whole area will be in bloom.  My mom can make anything grow, and has the patience and knowledge and creativity to make a beautiful space out of anything.  I can’t wait to post pictures again in just a few weeks.

The Beauty of the Loving-Kindness Meditation

I have some good, and perhaps unexpected news tonight.  I, Rosa, have had a GOOD day here this 19th day of September.  Really an all-around good day.  Physically, I woke up feeling relatively fine and only had issues with some crazy awful nausea during the day.  I find that if I sit very very still, this helps.

In the not-too-distant future, I can see myself functioning again.  I can see it and I can believe it and I have taken that photograph with me in my mind’s eye, so that I can keep referring back.  When I meditated this morning, it was a sort-of loving-kindness meditation that I had adapted to do what I wanted it to (my favorite kind).

My words for myself were:

May my body heal.

May my soul straighten.

May my mind be free from other’s drama.

May I live my life today, easy and carefree.

My words for others were:

May you be at ease with your  pain and suffering

May a great joy come to you today.

May you realize I always forgive you.

May you be free from the pain of life, if just for a moment


You can really make a meditation into anything you want it to, save that it is helpful to you and/or someone else.  I like the loving-kindness meditations, because “to self” words always soothe.  You must pick them out as particular to you.  These words you are putting into the world, they find people and knock them down and pick them back up again and set everything on course because, well, you are using these words to express love to yourself, which will set everything else afire.

The “to others” words can be particularly strong and powerful, to someone else and to YOU.  The best thing I like to do when starting “to others” words, is to picture a person I don’t much care for, or, even better, one who has caused me pain.  You say these words over and over, to a flawed but perhaps, deep inside, tortured person.  Your words may never mean anything to them, but the words help you to see this person in a different light.

My apologies for interrupting the status update with a little note on mindfulness, meditation, and loving-kindness meditation.  I still have quite the fog circling my brain, but I think I am coming through it.

Post-Christmas Laziness

I normally have kind of a hard time relaxing.  It’s not that I don’t ever sit around and twiddle my thumbs, but I always have kind of an anxious feeling when I’m doing it.  Today has been very different.  My goal for today was to do absoutely.nothing and enjoy it.  So far, I have succeeded.

Dr. Love gave me a Kindle for Christmas and I have really been enjoying it.  I spent a great part of today playing with it and doing some serious reading.  In the past, reading was something I did a lot of and really enjoyed.  The Kindle seems to be bringing me back to that and I think it would be wonderful if I could develop reading as a hobby again.  People need hobbies, or they sit around and obsess and clean…like me!

We still have two Christmas celebrations to go to.  On Thursday, we are getting together with my stepsister and her family for dinner, to see their new place, and Christmas gifts.  Then this coming weekend we are going to the middle-of-nowhere to celebrate Christmas with Dr. Love’s family.  I am looking forward to both, but am especially looking forward to Thursday because I see them so rarely.

Christmas at Mom’s yesterday was pretty great.  I ended up really tired and sick of people by the end, though, and it was everything I could do to not go screaming off into the woods.  It wasn’t anything in particular, I had just had enough of people.  I get that way sometimes, I guess.

I am thinking of making this potato soup recipe for lunches this week.  I have been craving potato soup, and now that I am eating dairy again, I see no good reason to not try it.  Speaking of eating dairy again, that must have just been all in my head, the lactose-intolerance thing.  I am eating all forms of dairy, maybe even more than before, and have had no problems whatsoever.  I do know that I have cut down on caffeine, sugar, and fat, so maybe the problem was within that trio.  Whatever the reason for it was, I am really glad to be “over it” (at least for the moment) and able to enjoy foods that I love again.

Christmas Day may officially be over, but I am still digging the music.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Christmas Canon Rock

Take a Little Time

Wow, I was getting in such a good routine of blogging in the mornings, and now it’s been almost a week!  What the quack??? to borrow a much-loved new expression from QoB.  😀

I think the reason for the lack of blogging is that the only real down-time I have is in the mornings, and I am really enjoying drinking my coffee, smoking, and listening to the iPod on the back porch, looking out into my beautiful yard.  That, and I have been working at being super-productive in the mornings, so that I can come home in the evenings and just chill, spend good quality time with Dr. Love, and get to bed at a decent time so that I can get up in the a.m. and do it all over again.  I’ve managed to get about two weeks of laundry totally done, have cleaned the kitchen every a.m. for about the last ten days (Dr. Love needed a break, I thought, and I was feeling guilty that I was pitching in on that project so infrequently), and have been picking up the house and keeping it nice and clean.

I love that feeling when everything in the house and on the chore-list is “just-so.”  No, not any control issues here or OCD issues here.  😀

I think we are headed out to the lake again this weekend.  The weather is supposed to be nice, except for some rain overnight on Saturday.  As QoB says, though, that’s all part of camping!  Dr. Love and I are really starting to get the hang of this whole camping thing and we’re LOVING it.  It’s so nice and relaxing to just get away, from the responsibilities at the house, from work, from the computer and the phone and just spend quality time together. 

QoB and Big Dog took their camper out to the lake last night, so I am sure we will be seeing them this weekend.  That will be nice for us and for them, because we don’t get to spend tons of quality time together, with them being so busy with the shops and, really, with Dr. Love and I being so busy just doing our thing.  Big Dog and QoB definitely need a break at this point…the busy seasons are ending and they’ve both been working seven days a week, just non-stop craziness. 

I think it’s kind of weird how everybody (including myself, sometimes) feels bad for the Big Dog because he has to work so much, but QoB is really working her ass off, too.  Granted, she is only working four 8’s a week at her regular job, but she’s putting in hours at the shops almost every evening, whether it is at home doing books/inventory/purchasing/research or at the shop slinging bait, plus she works all weekend from either the house or the shop.  All I have to say is, Madre, you’re amazing and a true inspiration for who I want to be.  MTLI.

So, last weekend Dr. Love and I worked at the shop on Saturday and Sunday, trying to help get stuff done.  We planted a crap-ton of plants for propogation (sp?) for the spring season and put most of them in the correct spots.  I do think Young21, their part-time garden store employee, has a lot of organizing and heavy lifting to do when he recovers from being ill, however.  At least we made some headway, though.  Then on Sunday, QoB and I forced (and I do mean forced) Big Dog to take off at 1:00 and go do something fun.  We ran the shops without a hitch, absolutely no problems.  I love it when a plan comes together.  Now Dr. Love, Big Dog, and I just need to find a way to give QoB a day off.  And by day off, I mean that she would likely spend it working on stuff at the house, because she just can’t.sit.still.  😀

I was thinking of the movie, Beaches — and I really don’t understand why it has such a low rating, because that’s one of the greatest.movies.of.all.time — for some reason this morning and really wanted to hear some Bette Midler

Without further adieu, I give you, one of my favorite celebs, Bette (and I couldn’t decide on just one song, and would love to hear if you have a favorite).  😀

Bette Midler, From a Distance

Bette Midler, The Rose

Bette Midler, Wind Beneath My Wings — and you know, people make fun of this song all the time, but I quackin’ love it, so there.  🙂

Dear Weekend of Mine

Just when I thought I was going to catch a break, a moment.of.rest at work, all hell breaks loose…again…and the race is on…again.  I really did think I had this case I am working on all summed up, but I think it’s that attitude that jinxed me, and now I’m starting over from square one.  Nothing I did, not my fault, but still…argh!  Let’s just say that, when you step out for 30 minutes to chainsmoke get some fresh air and clear your head, and they STILL call you on your cell phone, and have security trying to track you down, there are issues. 

But that’s ok, because I only have today, and then there’s the weekend.  The beauty of working at the prison is that, after the day is done, there’s not a lot to fret about because, let’s face it, they’re still locked up and it really becomes not-my-problem. 

Dr. Love worked on the rock patio last night.  It’s not completely done, but it will need to be before tonight, save from putting in the polymer sand.  That’s per the Big Dog, who let me know in no uncertain terms that we were going to have hard rains this weekend and all of that work would be for naught if the few stones left did not get laid and sand put between the cracks.  I’m tempted to wake Dr. Love up to inform him of such, but I think I’ll just call him constantly starting at 9:00 a.m. until he wakes up, answers the phone, and gets to hear all about it.

Kizzer Wizzer finally had her bath last night.  I really don’t know how she gets so dirty, other than perhaps rolling in dirt/mud/sand/grass all of the time and jumping in QoB and Big Dog’s pond anytime she gets the chance.  She is looking much better and seems to be less itchy.  Giving her a bath used to be a huge T/D for me, but now Dr. Love helps and she is very calm.  I think it’s because he watches the Dog Whisperer all the time, really do.  She has turned from an all-the-time rebellious dog into a dog that is somewhat manageable, as long as Dr. Love is around.  Really, she even acts better with me, but she’ll do anything (almost anything) for him.

We don’t have any big weekend plans and I would like to keep it that way.  My dad wants me to go by and feed his cat because they will be out of town on Friday and Saturday.  My thinking — it’s a friggin’ cat…put down some extra food and move on!  I still need to call him back and let him know my thought-process on that, however, and hopefully he doesn’t learn of my feelings by reading this during the morning hours today.  Hi, Dad!  🙂

Other than doing some family visiting, namely drinking mojitos and daquiris in the backyard at QoB’s, I plan to not do much this weekend other than rest.  The past few weeks at work have been really stressful and draining, and we have also stayed really busy on the weeknights.  I think it’s time to take a hint from my dear buddy buddy from high school, Adriana @ From KS to PA (a lady who sometimes does not take her own advice) 😉 and sit on my butt a little bit.

DVR-list, here I come!

Working for the Weekend, Loverboy

Peak of Relaxation

Dr. Love and I went camping this weekend.  We made it out to the lake after some mad-crazy last minute packing, an insane trip to the grocery store, and a stop for extremely expensive (the rising cost of frozen water, dontcha know) ice.  That was the stressful part — the week had been crazy already and then all of this last minute stuff had my blood pressure rising.  As Dr. Love is always quick to point out about me, “Must.Have.Control.Must.Have.Order.” 

Once we had the tent set up and I’d had a couple of beers, I was feeling much better.  Queen of Biscuits and BigDog came out for a little bit and we had some nice chatting, as well as a fool-proof way to have a good campfire, with two pyromaniacs working together.

The weather was BEAUTIFUL.  Granted, it sprinkled on and off on Saturday and stormed Saturday night, but it worked out well.  We went swimming in the rain and had a little wooded area that we pulled the picnic table into so that we didn’t really get rained on.  And the tent stayed dry through the storm. 

Dr. Love and I are SO not used to being relaxed.  We were both asking each other all weekend, “Are you ok? Is everything all right?” simply because we had really never seen this state in each other.  There will be much more camping in the future. 

The quintessential camping song, sung many a time over the campfire, beers and marshmallows all around.

Fishin’ in the Dark, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band