Tug Of War


Every since Kizzie was  a puppy (this pic was taken at about two years old), she has LOVED to play tug of war.  The name of the game was to get the toy close enough to you for you to grab, and then pull it just out of your reach.  Every once in awhile, let you grab it so we can play tug of war.  Once little Kizzie has “won,” she runs around the house shaking the toy.  Best puppy game, ever.

You would think with all this free time I have, I’d be blogging more.  I’m actually mostly sleeping during the day, playing with Kizzie, doing a few light chores, and chatting with friends.  There is a big cloud hazing over my brain and I can’t seem to come up with a decent topic, nonetheless the motivation to write it properly.

So I’m doing this little tug-of-war with myself that DBT would term “opposite-to-emotion.”  Basically, you make yourself do a little bit of that which is opposite to how you are feeling.

My opposite-to-emotions have been ranging from doing diary cards to picking up the kitchen to taking out the trash.  I think I need to add blogging in there, though, because I do miss it.

From Mentally Ill to Physically Ill

This has not been the greatest month for me.  I’ve had mixed episodes, rapid cycling, a stint in the local inpatient psych hospital.  I fee like I’m finally getting better from all of that, with the thanks of Abilify.  Hooray for progress!

So now, now that I should be able to go back to work and help the folks out and get out of the house and drive myself places, I’m sick.  WebMd had me convinced that I had bacterial pneumonia:

  • Cough, often producing mucus, also called sputum, from the lungs. Mucus may be rusty or green or tinged with blood.
  • Fever, which may be less common in older adults.
  • Shaking, “teeth-chattering” chills.
  • Fast, often shallow, breathing and the feeling of being short of breath.
  • Chest wall pain that is often made worse by coughing or breathing in.
  • Fast heartbeat.
  • Feeling very tired or weak.
  • Nausea and vomiting.
  • Diarrhea

I mean, I have every single on of those symptoms, some of them in the severe category.  So yesterday, I decided I was going to go see my doctor.  I was a little wary because she hadn’t ever seemed too thorough in my first two visits to her, but I was going to give it a go, and if all else failed go to the urgent care clinic across the street.

But I was proud of my doctor.  She took my concerns seriously.  She even took a chest x-ray.  She decided I have gastroenteritis (stomach flu) and a chest infection.  So, I’m on my way with Zofram (anti-nausea) and a Z-pack (antibiotics).  Too bad those things don’t make you feel 1000% better right after you take them.

I am on a clear liquids diet until noon tomorrow, at which point I start the BRAT diet for “as long as it takes to feel better.  3-5 days.”  BRAT stands for bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.  I’m sure at that point I’ll just be happy to be able to eat anything solid without my insides imploding.

I still haven’t been able to get my fever down, so am changing clothes a lot.  It’s probably close to 90 degrees here and I went to the appointment in sweatpants and a sweatshirt.  Now I’m home in the cool AC and I’m hot.  I’ve thought about getting in the pool and then wondered if that would be a very good idea.  Probably not.

Mom has been a lifesaver with bringing me a thermometer, soup, and Sprite yesterday and she was also awesome today and brought me my Rxs, more Sprite, and some red Gatorade.  You can’t count on everyone, but you can always count on your momma.  At least I can.

No one is really wanting to come over and visit and no one has in a few days so it’s getting a bit lonely.  I have been doing a lot of reading, napping, and reading blogs on the computer.  I am sure that once the fever goes down and I have Lysol’d my  house that I’ll be able to get Dad or Mom to come by.  In the meantime, I’ll just have to keep entertaining myself.  At least my mood is tons better.  That I’m really thankful for!