Defiant Medication Non-Compliance

Yep, that’s me.  As I’ve learned over the course of the last several hours, DSB DOES think that Ritalin helps me.  I’m not so sure.  I’ve been on and off it for awhile now.  Doing really good taking a dose here and there, but nothing consistent.  Turns out that Ritalin is one of those things (aren’t most psych drugs, other than benzos?) that has to be taken regularly to feel the effects.

I don’t have ADD or ADHD.  I’m taking Ritalin for depression.  Supposedly it helps calm my brain, smooth the frayed edges, help me focus, and give me a little energizing boost.  I don’t know that it does all that, but I’ve been lectured into the ground.  We have fought, I tried to make up, we fought some more, back and forth,  until I realized I wasn’t gonna win this one.

DSB is convinced that not taking Ritalin is why I’m not sleeping.  I argue that it’s stress.  Maybe it’s both?  All I know is that I’m past the point of exhaustion, and I’m willing to try anything.  I’m going to go back to my old sleeping med, because, while Sonata knocks me out, it keeps me asleep for roughly three hours.

Three hours isn’t enough.  So, we’re back to the good ol’ Zyprexa Zydis, or olanzapine ODT, for those who aren’t familiar with the brand name.  DSB says that I didn’t give the olanzapine a chance — that I had a few night’s rough sleep and decided it wasn’t working.  He’s probably right.  So I took one, and we’ll see.  I’ll report back in the morning.

Right now I feel like crap.  Not sleeping, too much stress, not enough down-time.  It’s not getting any better in the foreseeable future, so I really need to man-up.  Or “buck up” as the Big Dawg would say.

I used to listen to this song every night before I went to bed, waaaaay back in the day.  I’m gonna give it another little try tonight.  Maybe you should, too!