#reverb14: Regret Not Required

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What unfinished projects from 2014 are you willing to release now?

(regret not required)

Year in and year out, I have found myself falling in and out of religion.  Not in and out of my belief that my God is a mysterious God, not in and out of the belief that belonging to a faith community may help me to feel less alone.  More so just finding myself attending church, loving it, then hating it, then becoming indifferent and unmotivated to go.  And then missing it once I had left.

It has been suggested to me by many well-meaning people over the years that finding a “good church” to be part of my “support system” was crucial to my mental health and sense of well-being.  I’m just not sure I believe that anymore.  I understand that I can’t only go from my home to work to a handful of friends and families homes and back to my home again, expecting that this will keep me from completely being housebound.  I am sure something in my brain needs more than that, but I don’t think the answer to it is church or services or whatever you may call the practice of getting together in an organized way to celebrate your deity.

So in 2015, I won’t be pushing myself to find a “new church” or a “new religion” or to “join” something.  I’m not going to feel bad about it, although I suppose at times I may long for it.  I’m not saying “never,” either.  I am saying, “No, not now.  Rosa has bigger fish to fry.”

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10 thoughts on “#reverb14: Regret Not Required

  1. Someone once told me that a church was a great place to find a great support network or community. The problem I found is that in order for a community to work well for you, you have to fit in with them and have a similar set of beliefs. While I wouldn’t consider myself “out of faith” or “not religious,” I am really not “as religious” as I’ve found most people who do go to church. It really didn’t work for me. I’m not sure what the answer is!

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  2. Lots of things in life happen in their own good time. My guess is that this is one of those things in your life. I find that when I try to just leave my heart open to potential and possibilities, I get filled up more often than not. ❤

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  3. Hello – visiting from Reverb14 and love your post for todays prompt. I am starting to realize that COMMUNITY is important and I’m learning there are alternative ways to create one! I got lucky and found a small community through Facebook (which I would not have expected!), and the idea of this small private group is to provide POSITIVE SUPPORT for the person who began the group through monthly mail art and a letter to get to know each other better. Since joining this group it has certainly helped me feel like I am part of a community of good people trying to help out someone who wants to be in a better head space. I’m even thinking of creating a similar group as I move from the age of 49 to the age of 50 so I can have some support/advice/wisdom for the journey to 50! I think you’ll find a way to build a community of people that you can trust that will ‘get you’ and understand some of your struggles, it just might take a little while. Thanks for sharing your thoughts today =)

    BTW: read your ‘about me’ page and I have to say good for you for finding a way to live YOUR life that brings you JOY, instead of living in a way that others think you ‘should’ – its not easy but it’s worth it!

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  4. I’m so impressed by your honest soul searching. Based on my own experiences, your questions are powerful ones. Finding how to express one’s larger self in community is a journey of a life time. I hope you find peace as you search.

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  5. I’ve always looked at spirituality and religion as two different things, if it is community one’s after there are numerous institutions that could fill the same role without demanding the same price in terms of conformity. To each their own, and I think we all need to find our own unique take on the spiritual, whether it takes a more Christian form or Pagan (as in my own case) is irrelevant. Taking some time to ‘frying those bigger fish’ sounds like a wise move. 🙂 Here’s a suggestion, take a nature trip, you know, head out and just listen to the sound the world makes when yer’ knocking on the sky. It’s very relaxing. ^^

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  6. I love your new look here!
    I’m not a very religious person, but I dislike how people with depression are often made to feel that religion is the only answer. There are so many places where people can find structure and community. So I’m so glad you don’t feel pressured – in either direction – and that you are taking your time with it.

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