For as long as I have been adult, living out on my own, my biggest fear and most dreaded chore has always been going to the grocery store. At certain points in my life, I have been almost phobic. During those times, QoB would take my list and do the shopping for me. Those were the times when the phobia was at it’s worst. Other times, and oftentimes, she would simply go with me and help me find what I needed in the most efficient manner.
For the past long while, I’ve been able to do my own grocery shopping. Or rather, I’ve been able to do all the grocery shopping for DSB and myself. I relied heavily on Dollar General and a tiny IGA in a bad part of town, because they’re small, not crowded, and not very big. There’s also almost no selection of fresh fruit and vegetables, and the prices of everything except meat are almost robbery.
When DSB and I were together, I cooked rich, fatty meals that were often cheap and, more importantly, things he liked. There were rarely vegetables, mostly because DSB would eat only green beans, corn, and broccoli, and I was an idiot who didn’t just wise up and buy herself some vegetables, even if he wouldn’t eat them.
There was also the issue of the ginormous amounts of food that DSB would eat. It would be nothing to buy two pounds of lunch meat, cheese, and a loaf of bread, and for it to be gone in 24 hours. Without me having eaten a sandwich. It is almost incomprehensible, looking back.
So, I stopped buying a lot of things because it was too expensive, at the rate that DSB ate things. We relied heavily on meat and starch. And gravy. Good Lord, there was always gravy. And there were a ton of things that I liked to eat that DSB didn’t. We didn’t have enough money to cook two different meals each night, so I just went ahead with whatever he wanted. Total idiocy.
Ok, this was supposed to be a positive post, and here I’ve been ranting for 400 words. My ap0logies, but I’m not deleting it, because I mean every word of it, and I think you have to read that part to understand the true beauty of what is to follow.
As a side-note, my emergency visit to the pdoc is tomorrow @ 2:30pm, for those of you who read yesterday’s post. Hopefully all will be well soon.
Now, here at Day 8 with no DSB, it’s come time to grocery shop. For the first time since March of 2012, I am shopping just for myself. I’ve been pumping myself up about it for the past few days, thinking of things I’ll be able to buy, meals I’ll be able to cook, money I’ll be able to save. It’s actually been on my mind quite a bit.
I’ve been talking things over at work today with Catfish, about grocery shopping, and commented how much I hate the monstrosity of a grocery store that serves the North side of town. I mentioned that I missed the smaller Dillons’ that was out southwest. He pointed out that it’s only a five mile difference, and maybe I should just go to that Dillons’. Catfish can be mighty smart, sometimes.
So, I heeded his advice. I parked in the smaller parking lot (ya know, one smaller than the size of a football field, like up North) and readied my list. It wasn’t too busy and I hit the produce aisle first.
I shopped like a woman who has been without fresh fruit and vegetables for two years (close to the truth). I have apples (Honeycrisp!!) and celery and carrots and bananas and strawberries.
I bought a little tray of sushi for a dinner treat and almost jumped up and down when I realized that YES, I can afford this! I bought salmon and edamame and the fixins’ for salad and sandwich stuff. I bought a box of granola bars and it was like I’d been set free.
I bought all those condiments that DSB would use up in a week, like mayonaisse and BBQ sauce and Ranch dressing and red wine vinegar and soy sauce.
I bought a box of frozen taquitos, because they were on sale and I haven’t had them in a million years. It was almost more exciting than finding cash in your pocket.
I bought several other things, but those were the highlights. The bottom line is that I will be eating MUCH healthier, and I will be eating things that I want to eat, and the food will be there when I’m ready to eat it (unlike before when shit disappeared like a Grizzly bear had stalked the fridge).
So, I’ll just say that I’m a little bitter about my food life for the past two years. I gained a significant amount of weight, living the lifestyle we did, and really did feel stuck in it due to constraints like trying to feed two people on only my weekly money (because DSB rarely bought groceries, and then, only on the 1st) and also just not wanting to argue.
But it’s OVER! And I am CELEBRATING!
And eating sushi and edamame for dinner. Because I can.
I feel like this was a big victory, and maybe it seems small to others, but this really is a big huge deal for me. Go Team Rose!