Building Rome: Serenity Now

Well, it’s week two for me of Building Rome. Building Rome is a challenge created by Green Embers and each week, we set small goals and then report back on the past week’s goals.  I also add in my every-day-gotta-do-it goals at the end, but to each their own.

This week’s theme is “Serenity Now.”  The quote that Green Embers selected for this post if particularly apt to my situation:

“This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.”
– Captain J. A. Hadfield

Indeed.  Following last week’s goals, we find:

1)  Fail #1:  Send a handwritten card to my sister and step-sister letting them know how much they mean to me.

I didn’t do this, namely because I didn’t make the time or the effort.  It just slipped off my radar.  Maybe for another day!

2) Win #1:  Perf0rm one random act of kindness for a stranger each day.  A smile, holding the door open, helping someone carry something, advising where something is located in the grocery store.  Small things, important things.

I have been in the position to do a lot of this lately, and have happily done so.  My favorite was spotting someone a quarter so they could complete their purchase at Dollar General.  It’s just a quarter, people!  Out of the long line, I was the only one to offer assistance.

3) Win #3:  Talk with Goddess of Mindfulness about this constant cycling and what we can do about it, other than following the “crisis” medication regime.  Also talk with her about the mental  health center’s lack of follow-through with my needed medication requests.  Ask for her help in communicating with them.

Done and done and done.  I am back on my “crisis” medication regimine.  She explained to me the extreme understaffing at the center and suggested I make an appointment straight-away, as it is difficult to get in now.

Those were the main goals I set for last week.  The following goals will be for this week, and will embrace “serenity now.”

1) Take Kizzie for a walk at least three times for at least 15 minutes this week.

This will help my mental health, my physical health, and Kizzer’s health.  I often used to find that walks were good ways to clear my brain, and with quitting smoking, I need all of that I can get.

2) Set aside time each morning to read in the devotional book that my mom’s best friend, Glo gave me.

We have not made it to church now in weeks, thanks to our dueling schedules, and my lapsing faith is irritating me like a burr right under my skin.  Who knew that having faith was such hard work?

3) Continue to not smoke.

Smoking creates anxiety, really.  When you feel like you’ve not had one in a certain amount of time, it certainly increases those feelings.  I have plenty of anxiety on my own to deal with.  I really don’t need the help!

Now, for my four must-do-every-day-n0-matter what:

1) Take medications exactly as presribed.  I actually did a pretty good job this week, other than taking my morning meds late on two days.  I still took them, though, so there’s progress!

2) Take care of Kizzie’s needs.  I did pretty well on this, too.  She never ran completely out of water and I’ve already made arrangements to get some dog food picked up.  We’ve been playing a lot, and it is clear she would rather sit on my lap in the  living room than sit under my feet at my computer desk.  She can be a bit on the needy side, sometimes.

3)  Take care of personal hygiene daily.  I did a bang-up job of this, I believe, this week.  Smelling all fresh and clean AND, I put away all my clean clothes, so I know what I have to wear.  That is a big bonus, and it doesn’t really matter that I did it at 9:00 last night — just that it’s done!

4) Eat healthfully and mindfully.  Epic fail.  Too much fast food this week, and too many sugary drinks.  There has also been a lot of snacking going on since I quit smoking and I KNOW that this is just nervous energy — I just want it to stop!

So, if you’d like to hold yourself accountable and feel like making some new goals, check out Green Embers’ site for details and link-up.  I know I feel a little bit better if I have some direction in life!

Sorry there were no fun  pictures, but today is a git’ ‘er done kind of day, and I didn’t have time.  Maybe next week!

Ritalin Jumpstart

Ok, so this is probably all in my head, but I have taken all three daily doses of Ritalin for the past two days and I am feeling remarkably better.  Remarkably better in that I feel clearer, more motivated, and less ick.  

I should probably clarify that I am not on Ritalin for treatment of ADD.  My doctor prescribed it while I  was going through a severe depressive phase because all anti-depressants do is make me manic.  Every time.  When I think of how things were going pre-Ritalin and then how things were going after I had been on it for awhile, it really was a bit of a miracle drug for me.  Of course, I’m a dumbass and i stopped taking it.

Hoping to get that clear, crisp, motivated, un-ick feeling back, as I said, I’ve started up the regimine again.  I have been supremely motivated and have kicked much ass in the last 48 hours, on a domestic level.  I am  still feeling a bit iffy in my interactions with other people, but let’s be honest, that is a day-to-day struggle, Ritalin or not.

I blogged a few posts ago about bipolar people having goals and my thoughts on the topic.  At the time, I talked only of very short-term goals, such as goals for the day.  To be honest, I don’t make any goals longer than for the day.  I think it’s habit.  When not feeling well, it is super difficult to accompliish even the smallest task.  It used to be that I would always set myself up for failure by coming up with unattainable goals, even when broken down into steps.

I’m going to try something new.  I am going to set a few non-lofty goals for myself.  Something beyond trying to make the daily goal of showering daily or keeping my kitchen clean.  Because those two things don’t happen sometimes, or even rarely at times.  

I just feel like, even though I am struggling with daily tasks, I shouldn’t hold myself back from something bigger until I can get those few tasks handled.  I feel so inspired by some of the blogs I read, people who are passionate about art or education or love or fitness.  I want that, too.  I would be willing to bet that some of those bloggers also have difficulty keeping their kitchen spotless or showering every day or that they have some other daily task they struggle with.  That isn’t holding them back and I am saying, starting right now, that I’m not going to let those little things hold me back from bigger goals.

I can so do this.  And so can you.