Building Rome, Revisited

It has been since my birthday on August 11th since I have participated in Building Rome (which is brought to us by Green Embers, and you can get started here).  Building Rome focuses on small goals that lead to big goals, and I must admit, I have been lacking in the goal department here lately.  Sure, there are things to do, but they all seem so big and insurmountable.  I thought it might do me some good to spell things out every week again, in a relaxed and simple manner.

I won’t be reporting on the last week’s goals, because I am looking for a clean start.  They were too complex, too big, too whatever.  Instead, I’m going to review my top “Do or Die” goals and then end with new goals.

Rosa’s Do or Die Goals:

1) Take care of all  Kizzie’s needs, including play with Kizzie every day for at least 30 minutes.   I am failing horribly at this one, especially at the playing with Kizzie card.  That, and she went one 12-hour period without food, because I just didn’t notice.  Story of my life at this point.

2) Hygiene/Self-Care.  I am struggling with this.  Instead of showering every day, I am showering when I know I really need to.  I am, however, keeping my hair clean on a daily basis.  I have some very rough patches on my feet that really should be taken care of, and I am not using lotion like I should, and that really drags me down.  I do need to take better care of my body — its almost like I feel I don’t deserve it.

3) Take all medications as prescribed.  To a “T.”

 4) Eat healthfully.  Some days are better than others, but mostly, I just suck.

Rosa’s Goals Week of 9/1/2014

1) Keep taking Wellbutrin in attempt to quit smoking September 13th.  Continue cutting back and doing what I can to minimize the fallout when I actually do quit.

2) Get back to reading again.  Even if it is just 15/min per day, that would be better than nothing.

3) Do one nice self-care thing for myself every day, no matter how much I think I don’t deserve it.

4) Blog more regularly.  I have been blogging about once a week and really do miss it.  I need to stop flailing and start doing.

Building Rome: It’s Not For Sissies

When I started Green Embers’ Building Rome, I reminded myself that I am not very good at goal setting — that is, I set unrealistic goals that should really be broken into smaller chunks.  Over the past several weeks, I have tried to do that, and have in many cases.  Unfortunately, it is usually the goals that I really want to accomplish that are the ones I don’t.  And it’s because they’re TOO BIG.

Following are last week’s goals:

1) Blog every day.  This proved overly difficult.  I even posted my new series twice because I failed to have anything better to write about.  What happened to the writing, thinking Rosa?

2) Continue path to quitting smoking.  I continue to cut back on the number of cigarettes I smoke each week.

3) Find new music for MP3 player (suggestions are welcome)  Didn’t even try.  It seems that listening to “The Band Perry” every night as I drift off to sleep for the last three months has been soothing enough, that I am not super-motivated.

4) Get 25% through my new book.  I am 14% — and don’t think I’ll finish the book.  It’s just not very well written and has a lot of grammatical errors which are really driving me crazy.

 

The “Do or Die” Goals — all the same as last week.  Apparently, consistency is key.

1) Take care of all  Kizzie’s needs, including play with Kizzie every day for at least 30 minutes.   Done!

2) Hygiene/Self-Care.  Satisfactory.

3) Take all medications as prescribed.  Getting much better.

4) Eat healthfully.  Relative to the diet the doctor currently has me on.

 

Green Embers suggests this week to “find Neverland.”  Finding and celebrating that inner child.  I do this a bit, because it is related to Sacred Self, but I really should do it more.  So this week, I’m going to:

1) Watch “Frozen.”  My niece is obsessed, my friend’s daughter is obsessed.  I really think I just need to see this movie.

2)  Do something about my hair.  It is big, it is frizzy, and I have bangs.  There must be some solution.

3) Find a quiet place, away from the realities of life.  Go there at least once every day.  I’m thinking more Netflix is in my future.

Building Rome: Slightly Tardy

Here I am, five whole days past due on my Building Rome post, the challenge post related to identifying and accomplishing short-term goals, developed by Green Embers.  This week’s challenge is to enlist goals of  “Flying the Flag of the Freak.”  In GE’s words:  “find something this week that will show the world just how awesome you are, no matter how freaky you think it is.”

First, though, I’d like to report in last week’s goals:

1) Get out of the house at least once a day.   Hooooley moley, have I ever accomplished this.  I have been out more than I have been home.  This may have attributed to both my extreme fatigue and low stress level, so I’ll take it.  It feels good to be out seeing people.

2) No matter what I am doing that day, be dressed, showered, and ready to walk out the door at a moment’s notice by 11:00AM.  I did pretty well at this, although it wasn’t always by 11:00AM.  Sometimes it was much earlier, sometimes much later.  The  point is that its getting done.

3) Stop isolating.  Now.   I socialized every day the  past week.   I am whupped.

 

My Do-or-Die Goals:

1) Take care of all  Kizzie’s needs, including play with Kizzie every day for at least 30 minutes.   Done!

2) Hygiene/Self-Care.  Satisfactory.

3) Take all medications as prescribed.  Getting much better.

4) Eat healthfully.  Relative to the diet the doctor currently has me on.

 

This week’s goals:

So, since I’m so late, this will basically be from this moment until Monday when I write my new goals:

1) Blog every day.

2) Continue path to quitting smoking.

3) Find new music for MP3 player (suggestions are welcome)

4) Get 25% through my new book

 

Building Rome: Get Happy

Green Embers’ Building Rome theme this week could not have come at a better time.  This week’s theme is:

SETBACKS ARE NOT ROADBLOCKS!

And yes, I really did feel it was that important that I screamed that at you.  Sorry for any ringing eardrums.  🙂

So, anyone who reads this blog knows I’ve had some major “setbacks” lately and have even blogged about the incredible sadness and loneliness I have been feeling, that have been created by said roadblocks.

After some discussion with the ever-so-wise QoB, my unhappiness problem can be eased by three things, which are going to be this week’s goals:

1) Get out of the house at least once a day.   Even if it’s just to sit out on the back patio or get in the mini-pool or drive down to BP and put gas in the car.  I think this goal is particularly important because it causes one to have to shower and dress, which are altogether motivating in themselves, which leads me to my next goal.

2) No matter what I am doing that day, be dressed, showered, and ready to walk out the door at a moment’s notice by 11:00AM.  I mean, this probably sounds pretty easy to most people, but it just isn’t for me.  Not when I’m feeling bad.  But what I do know from experience is that it DOES work.  Doing all of that gets you motivated to do more stuff, and doing that stuff motivates you to do even more.

3) Stop isolating.  Now.  This could probably go along with number one, but is really is distinctively different.  People are seeking out my company, and I am sometimes saying “no,” all the while whining that I am so lonely.  I do have opportunities to get out, but I am not going because I feel like I’m not good company, because I worry what to talk about, I worry what people are going to think of me.  I just worry.  I have let this problem overcome me before, and I literally turned into a hermit.  Not happening again.

My Do-or-Die Goals:

1) Take care of all  Kizzie’s needs, including play with Kizzie every day for at least 30 minutes.   It amazes me how much happier and relaxed Kizzie is now that Rascal is gone.  She definitely is loving having more time with me and I am (I think) doing a good job at taking care of her.  We have been playing a lot and she’s back to sleeping in the middle of the bed.  🙂

2) Hygiene/Self-Care.  Satisfactory.

3) Take all medications as prescribed.  I sucked.  I’m working on it now.  That is all.

4) Eat healthfully.  Still on a very carb/protein diet.  Not sure that’s quite healthy, but it’s the only thing that keeps my tummy happy.

 

Last Week’s Goals:

1) Continuing to read two hours every day.  Doing it and LOVING it!

2) Ask some friends for feedback about lack of blogging.  Asked, answered, and advice put into effect.

3) Start reducing cigarettes smoked in an attempt to quit which will be upcoming.  Day One was today and I did not meet my exact goal, but I did pretty darn good.  Hopefully Day Two will be easier.

Building Rome: Shoot it to Me Straight

It’s Green Embers’ Building Rome time and I have thought and thought about what I wanted to post, being that I am not yet back up to full 100% Rosa awesomeness.  I think for me this week is going to be a bit of a repeat with a twist.  Originality just isn’t in the cards today, looks like.

Last week, I worked on the following things:

1)  Set aside one to two hours to read everyday (two if I am not working that day).  I did always set the time aside, although I didn’t always spend it reading.  I did read an average of two hours per day, though, so I’m going to say this goal was accomplished.

2) Go back to work or somehow be more involved with the shop.  This is not going to happen until I feel better, can stay awake all day, can handle interacting with customers and stressful situations.  Not quite there yet, but almost.

3) Start driving again.  Yay!  I did start driving again and it felt good, although kind of scary.  Especially kinda scary the times I did it without wearing shoes (that’s another long story).  I think though, as long as I have shoes, I’m good, so, goal accomplished!

 

My Do-or-Die Goals:

1) Take care of all  Kizzie’s needs, including play with Kizzie every day for at least 30 minutes.   This went so well that we usually went over the 30 minutes if  you count up all the 15 minute intervals during the day.  She is as happy as a pup ever was.

2) Hygiene/Self-Care.  Satisfactory.

3) Take all medications as prescribed.  I am having a really hard time remembering to take my morning meds, a terrible time remembering to take my morning, evening, and bedtime Zyprexa, and did goof around with a few of my physical health medications as well.  This was not a winner this week.  I do have a plan and it involves getting my mediset filled up and setting more timers.

4) Eat healthfully.  This is kind of put out of commission with me being sick.  I am getting really good at making Ramen in the microwave, and I’m doing a good job pushing fluids, so there’s something.

 

This coming week’s goals:

1) Continuing to read two hours every day.  This was really helpful for me in calming my brain down and relaxing me.  And I have some killer books to read right now!

2) Ask some friends for feedback about lack of blogging.  And of course, feel free to add  your two cents in the comments.  I am having a really hard time blogging regularly, coming up with topics, and even responding to prompts.  I do want to write, I feel pressed to write, but I just can’t come up with it.  Any advice?

3) Start reducing cigarettes smoked in an attempt to quit which will be upcoming.  “Nuff said about that one.

Building Rome: Back to Basics

This week, this Monday, I have started to feel just a bit better and so some of the fuzzy thinking is gone.  I know what I need to do is go back to basics and then build my strength back up.  I don’t want to set a bunch of goals, not to accomplish them.  With Green Embers’ Building Rome series, several of us have been setting goals around the blogosphere and sharing with others.

We all report on past goals, some of us report on the same every day or week goals, and we all set new goals.  You do it how it works for you.  And I only say this because I have been trying for the last 24 hours to come up with a way to do this post, that I wouldn’t fail.  I’m tired of not meeting my goals and it is clear that sometimes I am setting unrealistic expectations.  I hope to do a bit better this week.

Last week, I vowed to:

1) Help someone do something difficult for themselves, through support and encouragement.  I think I accomplished this with flying colors.  Yay!

2) Take downtime to set long-term goals.  I didn’t sit down and write a list, but I have been doing quite a bit of thinking about it, so I’m gonna give myself partial credit.

3)  Take joy in unexpected benefits.  I have really been finding my knee keeps getting better.  I have been able to get around better and be in less pain.

Do-Or-Die Goals:

1) Take care of Kizzie’s needs.   I have been trying to pay extra special attention to the Kizzer and have been able to do so with all this extra time.  She has not had a moment without water or food and the treats have been given in decent amounts.  She seems to be very happy.

2) Daily hygiene/self-care.  Check!

3)  Take meds as prescribed.   Check!

4) Work on healthy eating.  Does lots of Ramen and Sprite count?  😦

This week’s “back to basics” goals:

1)  Set aside one to two hours to read everyday (two if I am not working that day).

2) Go back to work or somehow be more involved with the shop.

3) Start driving again.

Building Rome: Something Good

As part of the goal-building prompts that Green Embers puts out every week, he reminds us of something that we can all lose sight of:  there is good in every day.  Even the worst day has a bright spot.  At end of day, it’s those bright spots that we need to look at, to examine, to remember.  Goals for this week focus on finding the bright spots.

First, a recap of last week’s goals:

1) Be more active with Kizzie.  This has happened a little this week.  I have been sick so there has been no real rough-housing, but we are definitely playing a lot of fetch, tug-of-war, and Kizzie has been busy barking at everything that moves.  All in all, I’d say its been a success.

2) Get the back room straightened out.  Boo to being sick, I say!  This project has remained untouched, but I do go back there from time to time and think about what I want to do.  That’s something, right?

3) Cook a nice meal for the Big Dawg while Mom is out of town.  This obviously didn’t happen, because again, sick.  Boo again!

This week — the goals of finding the good:

1) Help someone do something difficult for themselves, through support and encouragement.  This could be any number of things, but I do have one particular thing in mind.  I am there for you, cheering you on!

2)  Take joy in unexpected benefits.  With all of this downtime, my knee is feeling better.  I will take this time to plan out what I want to do with my new found knee-fabulousness.  Probably start walking again (if I can ever get better).

3) Take downtime to set long-term goals.  Every week here, we set short-term goals.  I find it difficult, at times, because my long-term goals are so vague.  I vow to sit down with pen and paper (or mouse and keyboard) and really hammer out some long-term goals — 1 year, 5 year, even 10 year.  Whatever it is, I’d like to know myself where I’d like to be at those times.

Go visit Green Embers’ page to find out how you can participate in this motivating project.  You can also find links to other bloggers participating — go cheer them on!

 

 

Building Rome — In Which We All Turn into Butterflies

The theme for this week’s Building Rome is metamorphosis.  Building Rome is a blog series put together by Green Embers that helps one work on short-term goals, which would then lead you to long-term goals.  The emphasis here, however is short.  Tiny.  Little.  ACHIEVABLE.

For the first month, the only goals I have set that I have actually met have been my Top Four Always.  Now that June’s over and I seem to have a pretty good handle on those, I’m going to try and break down the goals I had been using even further.  I’m hoping for the smaller the goal, the greater chance of success.

This upcoming week, I am going to do my best to commit to:

1) Be more active with Kizzie.  It has become quite obvious after four weeks, that this dog still has not had a walk.  I think maybe I’m not meeting her at the right level.  I plan to devote 30 minutes each day, no matter what, to play-time.

2) Get the back room straightened out.  It has been DSB-ified, but I would really like to get a computer going back there so I can move mine out of my dining room.  I would also like for that computer to stream Netflix, if at all possible.  I have shows to watch, people!  I also think that getting this taken care of with minimal help will be a good self-esteem booster.

3) Cook a nice meal for the Big Dawg while Mom is out of town.  Granted, this has been Mission Impossible lately as I have been living on clear fluids and Ramen noodles and have been a bit on the contagious side, but my dad keeps mentioning mini-meatloaves and cheezy potatoes, his favorites out of all the things I cook.  It really wouldn’t take a lot for me to throw a big batch together, and Mom can even freeze some of them.

 

Last week, I had planned to:

1) Get out of the house twice this week.  And I did!  Both to doctor’s appointments!

2) Play in my pool every day.  That pool has been cold and I have been sick.  I did get in there yesterday (or maybe day before), and it was QUITE refreshing.

3) Find a magazine or two I can flip through.  Done deal, thanks to Dad!

4) Walk Kizzie every day.  Gah!  I don’t even want to talk about it!

 

Building Rome, Goals for Self-Compassion

It’s that time of the week again where those of us building Rome, all spout out some lofty goals, report on last week’s goals, and maybe throw up a funny picture or memorable quote.  This is all brought to us, of course, by Green Embers who so thoughtfully created and designed and brought this challenge to life.  If at any point you wish to join, just do a Building Rome post and link back to him.

The theme of this week’s “Building Rome” is “building passion.”  My life definitely lacks passion right now.  In fact, I can’t even come up with any passion related goals because I don’t have anything I feel passionate about.   All the things I love to do — read, blog, interact with other humans, watch bad TV, learn new things (crochet!), drive, work — I am unable to do at present.

My brain is so foggy, I can’t concentrate, focus, stay in the moment for any of it.  This is very frustrating.  I’ve basically stopped blogging because I know I sound like a confused ass.  I can’t drive anywhere because I’ve been in a couple near-accidents (because I failed to pay attention).  I can’t read because I read the same paragraph over and over.  I can’t even pay attention to bad TV!  And then there are the long and extended crying spells.  Gah!

What I can do, however, is set some goals for self-compassion.

THIS WEEK’S GOALS — SELF-COMPASSION

1) Get out of the house twice this week.

2) Play in my pool every day.

3) Find a magazine or two I can flip through.

4) Walk Kizzie every day.

LAST WEEK’S — FOUR OF ALWAYS

1) Take meds as prescribed.  Check!

2) Take care of Kizzie’s needs.  Check!

3) Take care of personal hygiene daily.  Fail!

4) Work on healthy eating.  Somewhat check!

LAST WEEK’S — DO OR DIE

1) Keep up with my “always list.”  Check!

2) Spend at least two hours outside every day.  Check!

3) Walk Kizz for 10 minutes ever day this week.  Fail!

4) Finish getting house in order.  Kinda check!

Building Rome, Do or Die

It’s my third week of Building Rome, and, even though I’m a little behind my Monday original start date, I have good excuses.  Green Embers  puts together this little blog-fest, where we chose goals one week, and then the next week report on those goals and set some more goals.  This week’s theme is “Imagination, No Passport Required.”  I have a real lack of imagination at the moment, and the rules of the blog-fest are flexible, so my rules are going to be able taking care of me.  Being kind to Rosa.

Last Week’s Goals

1) Take Kizzie for a walk at least three times for at least 15 minutes this week.  Needless to say, this didn’t happen.  I was in a really bad  place last week and walking the Kizz was the furthest thing from my mind.  Maybe next week!

2) Set aside time each morning to read in the devotional book that my mom’s best friend, Glo gave me.  Nope, this didn’t happen either.  I have a really hard time reading or concentrating on anything in that state.

3) Continue to not smoke.  I decided (and my pdoc and treatment team at the hospital agreed) that I need to be in a better place to do this, and that trying to do this mid-cycle and with a hospitalization stuck in the midst was not a good time.  It will still be a long-term goal.

Four Things of Always

1) Take meds as prescribed.  Check!

2) Take care of Kizzie’s needs.  Check!  (alth0ugh Grandma t0ok care of and spoiled little Kizzers all week while I was in the hospital.

3) Take care of personal hygiene daily.  I am pleased to report that I have finally taken a shower every single day of the week, including when I was in the hospital.  I actually look forward to it now.  Who woulda thought?

4) Work on healthy eating.  I didn’t do too badly at this, mostly because I was in the hospital although they have great food there.

Four Things of Do or Die

1) Keep up with my “always list.”  Routines and rituals and taking care of my self are a must right now.

2) Spend at least two hours a day outside, no matter what.

3) Walk Kizz for 10 minutes every day this week.

4) Finish getting house in order.  It’s very clean, but a bit scattered in places.